Born Again Gym Rat: Your Own Worse Enemy

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Your Own Worse Enemy

I could tell I was slacking a little this morning once I got on the cross-trainer. But I'd gotten to the gym a little late, and hadn't had time for breakfast. Lately breakfast has been making me nauseous in the mornings so I've been skipping out with just a cup of instant espresso. This morning I had to return an item I'd purchased yesterday from Home Depot. It's a long pole with attachments at the end that's suppose to enable you to change ceiling light bulbs. I was skeptical when I looked at the package, but the cashier assured me that I could return it for a full refund.

I brought it home and found the instructions hidden inside the packaging. That's clue #1 that this is a bogus product. The instructions don't really make sense although upon first glance they might, if you suspend child-like disbelief. There are two flexible cages (for candelabra and regular bulbs) that screw onto the end of the pole. They flex to engulf the bulb, but there's no mechanism to squeeze or tighten the cage so there's no way to unscrew the bulb. There's also a suction cup that they make you thread a string through and yes, they provide the string. The string is to flex the suction cup to release the vacuum once you get the bulb in place. Really? The cup does adhere with reasonable suction, but then just slides across the smooth face of the bulb. I use the string to release it.

You also can't use the cage AND the suction cup together on the pole, not that the cage is good for anything. And then I replace all the items in the clear plastic packaging and return for a full refund. "This is crap," I tell the fellow at the service desk, "You shouldn't even be selling this. It's just a waste of time and money." He tells me that if enough people return it or complain then the store will pull it. That's too bad. I wanted to dare him to try making it work. I suppose purchasing agents are too busy to vet every product they supply their stores with, but it would've been nice.

I get to the gym by 9:45 and snag a cross-trainer. Today it seems as if every cross-trainer is spoken-for, which is odd because there are a lot of them. Must be busy today. Luckily the weight area is not busy and I have no problems getting my sets of RG BB Rows. As the morning progresses, newbies show up. They tend to chat a lot and leave their stuff on benches that they're not even using. And yes, I'm talking about guys, clueless teenagers and middle-age men alike.

My routine is fairly routine. Until I decide to see if I can even move 225 lbs on the Back Extension machine. It's my last set, and I do move it. But I don't like how it feels. I can't push the shoulder bar down far enough (until I feel it bump at the bottom of the movement) so the exercise feels incomplete. Yep, I'm my own worse enemy. After Cable Seated Rows, I do 30 min on the elliptical (performance program 3) and then a quick stretch before gritting my teeth for Hammer grip Pull Ups at the stretch Cage. I rest a minute or two between sets by stretching my hamstrings, glutes and quads. By set 3, my elbows are complaining and my arms are tired. I can only bring myself to eye-level with the bar for the last rep, so I don't count it. Bummer. The workout app tells me that my total mileage is 6.16, and I've moved 30, 547.5 lbs today. Cool!

My new Revgear Kid's MMA gloves arrived today but I'm going to wait until my knuckles are fully healed before smacking the machines again. These gloves are extremely padded over the top of the hand and are affixed by thick elastic straps over the fingers. The latter could be problematic as I can foresee issues with the bands cutting or chafing my fingers. I can also feel my hands slide inside the gloves as I feign a few punches. I'm going to have to tape my hands regardless of what I wear. Oh well...

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