Making Sense of Madness

I'm getting to this blog late because I've been rushing non-stop from one event to the next today. My time at the gym seems to be the only place where time stands still and I focus on nothing but movement. I did have a really good workout today, logging in 5.11 miles on the Precor. Friday is Back and Biceps day.

Today's Total Workout:
45 min = 5.11 miles
Seated Cable Rows: 12 @ 90 / 12 @ 105 / 3 x 10 @ 120 lbs
Lower Back Extensions: 2 x 25 @ 97.5 lbs
Cage Stretch & Kicks
Lat Pull Downs: 12 @ 90 / 3 x 12 @ 105 lbs
Bent-Over Barbell Rows: 15 @ 65 / 6 x 15 @ 70 lbs
Alternating Dumbbell Bicep Curls: 3 x 12 @ 20 lbs
Concentration Curls: 3 x 12 @ 20 lbs
Torso Twist Machine: 2 x 25 @ 50 lbs
Flat Bench Twisting Sit Ups: 150
Reverse Grip Barbell Curls: 3 x 20 @ 40 lbs
Mat Stretch

The scale reads 108.4 lbs which will translate to about 105 lbs at home. But it's the news about a school shooting in nearby Newtown CT that has my attention. At first all that's reported is 3 people have been admitted to the hospital and that the shooter was an adult male. I have errands to run and after contacting my husband about friends who live in the area, I proceed. Later I learn about the 26 fatalities, about the children and teachers killed, and my heart aches hollow.

My husband's company's holiday party is this evening. It's an event I've been looking forward to since I rarely get a chance to dress up or go out. We drop our son off for a late play date and proceed to the party and I feel good knowing that I can make a Kmart dress look great. I snap a phone photo in the Artisan Southport bathroom. It must be one of those flattering skinny mirrors because even the wrinkles on the sequined fabric seem complimentary.

But still, in the back of everyone's mind, is the horrible incomprehension of how such a tragedy could have occurred. My son doesn't feel safe at school any more. My husband tells him that if there's a gunman, he should run away as fast as he can because sitting quietly just gets you killed. Is this the beginning of the Zombie Apocalypse, where mindless angry gunman kill kindergarten children? Then we'd better all be prepared to take them on, and damn, we'd better be in shape. You might ask what drives me to do 5+ miles of cardio every day, to lift heavy and do countless reps? It's the thought that I might need to be fast and strong, that I might need endurance for some as of yet unperceived future threat. I feel like Sarah Connor. I need to be ready. And so do you.