I'm Probably Going to Hell

I wasn't coughing this morning but that was because everything'd dried and stuck to my internals. Eventually, with a bit of moisture from coffee and instant oatmeal, everything came loose. Still, even with the slight tightness in my chest, I didn't really feel sick. So off to the gym I went. Somehow I clicked on hill #5 instead of 6. It's a steeper hill. But I did my 45 minutes and got 5.09 miles. And I didn't cough all over myself!

I settle into the Seated Cable Rows, get into my heavy set of 120 lbs and who wanders over? V. Of course. I figure I'd get it over with, so I pull out one ear piece and wave a vague hello. He then proceeds to launch into a speech about Do you know... And I don't. Then he tells me her mother died yesterday. And I'm sort of "So?" People die. Especially if they're old. Then he tells me that she's a friend of his and I mutter I'm sorry and he rambles on about How that's all the news he has, and I shrug, because I don't actually want any news from him. Damnit, he's ruining my workout. I put my headphone back on as his lower lips starts trembling like he's going to cry. I'm pissed. That's the last time I pull out my ear piece when I'm working out.

The gym is pretty empty today. A lot of the regulars are missing. B's not here today either. Neither is R. I'm thinking I'm going to have to do something in the future to avoid V because this is killing my routine. The gym is my sanctuary, where I work out, get a great endorphin rush, and muse to myself about things I'm working on (photo shows, short stories, etc.). I don't have any sympathy for V. Does that make me bad? I think it's bad to foist your emotional despair on others who are not your closest friends. Maybe it's because I was raised Asian. 

I like the way my shoulders, lats and arms look lately. I've told B that I don't think I can get any bigger (without supplements, and I'm an au natural kinda gal), but she's skeptical. I am, after all, getting stronger. So why not bigger?

Today's Total Workout:
45 min hill #5 = 5.09 miles
Seated Cable Rows: 12 @ 90 / 12 @ 105 / 3 x 6 @ 120 / 12 @ 90 lbs
Lower Back Extension: 25 @ 90 / 25 @ 97.5 lbs
Cage stretch & kicks and 12 close grip chins
Lat Pull Downs: 12 @ 90 / 5 x 12-10 @ 105 lbs
Reverse Grip Barbell Rows: 6 x 12 @ 60 lbs
Dumbbell Hammer Curls: 12 @ 15 / 3 x 12 @ 20 lbs
Ab Curl Station: 2 x 50 (upper) / 2 x 50 (lower)
Lower Back Extensions (again) 2 x 25 @ 97.5 lbs
Reverse Grip Barbell Curls: 3 x 20 @ 30 lbs
Mat Stretch

The scale reads 108.0. I feel pretty good. Then I see V chatting with a gal I recognize from the locker room. He seems perfectly happy. I wave hi and attempt to walk by but he accosts me with "And there's my glamorous neighbor." Oh good grief. The woman repeats, "Oh, you're his neighbor," and I have to nod noncommittally, "Uh, yeah." V proceeds to launch into a monologue about how it was best that his friend passed because how much should you suffer, and again, I don't really care. I venture that if he's really broken up, there's bereavement groups he can join. And then I see Mr Pajama Pants pass behind me and Hannibal Baggy Knees approaching, as if to join in the chat. And I scram as fast as I can. Because damnit, I really don't want to talk to any of these people. I'm probably going to hell. But at least I'll look good getting there.