Worse Things Than Tired

Today's Friday and I know that I have two whole days to be slug (because all the activities that my son is involved with aren't as physically strenuous to me as the daily workout). I don't feel sick either, but my cough has burrowed deeper into my lungs, and I spend my morning clearing clams out of my windpipe before I get to the gym.

Damn it, I'm tired but I'm also stubborn, pushing my 45 minutes on the elliptical. I get 5.36 miles which is still better than Monday and Tuesday of this week. I really enjoy feeling the sweat pour off my face, and the air race out of my mouth. When I get off the elliptical, I feel warmed-up but I don't have that lactic acid muscle burn, and my legs aren't all rubbery. I used to tell myself, when I was much younger, that I was really an "anaerobic exercise" kinda gal.

Back and Bi's today. The cable station is too crowded so I opt to do Cage stretch and kicks first. But I skip the close grip chin ups because I'm worried they'll impact my ability to do seated cable rows. Actually, what really impedes me there is my right knee. At 120 lbs, my knees are bracing me against the weight pulling me back into the platform. I have to carefully position myself for each set, and I'm only doing 6 reps. But heck, it's more than I weigh so I'm pretty satisfied with myself.

Lower back extensions, Lat Pull Downs and Reverse Grip Barbell Rows are next. B asks me again to show her the last move. I've only shown her 3 times already but she never quite remembers that. I show her again and she's impressed at how well she can feel both her lats and biceps work. She mentions one-arm dumbbell rows, which I used to do waaaay back when, but my spine is too flexible, and, as with dumbbell presses and flyes, I've managed to knock my spine out of alignment with that movement. So I don't do it. Things I CAN do, I do heavy, in good form, and I do a lot of. B says whatever it is I'm doing, well, it's working. Thanks! And I mean that without any irony.

Today's Total Workout:
45 min cardio = 5.36 miles
Cage stretch & kicks
Seated Cable Rows: 12 @ 75 / 12 @ 90 / 3 x 6 @ 120 lbs / 12 @ 90
Lower Back Extensions: 25 @ 90 / 25 @ 97.5
Lat Pull Downs: 12 @ 90 / 5 x 12 @ 105 (don't know what I'm going to do if I try to up the weight)
Bent Over Reverse Grip Rows: 5 x 12 @ 60 lbs
Dumbbell Hammer Curls: 12 @ 15 / 3 x 12 @ 20 lbs
Reverse Grip Barbell Curls: 3 x 20 @ 30 lbs
Mat Stretch

And I didn't do abs at all today. Not one crunch or situp. I suppose I should add some core work when I don't do abs per se, but I haven't figured out what exactly I'm comfortable doing. The scale reads 106.4 lbs and I'm very comfortable with that. I'm tired and hungry but there are solutions to those problems. What I can't fix is other people's pain, and how they deal with it.

B is attending a wake tonight for a dear friend of her husband's. He died after becoming paralyzed from the neck down several months ago. You'd guess car accident or stroke. But no. An abscess in his jaw that spread into his system and paralyzed him. The weirdest part is the fact that R, a big guy we occasionally chat with, tells me his wife is going to a wake for her friend's father. Who just died after being paralyzed. It's the same guy! B and R barely know each other, but cue the Six Degrees of Separation music for spookiness.

Meanwhile R is gritting his teeth through the pain of two herniated discs in his lower back. He's a personal trainer and this is wreaking havoc on his well-being. He doesn't want surgery after having endured 7 for various injuries incurred playing semi-pro football. I feel for the guy. He's a newlywed. He's young at 32. And I know how disabling back pain is, having experienced it myself in college, and knowing others who have turned to self-medication for relief.

I wish I could offer him something other than sympathy. Maybe that's what he needs though. But I'm not sure it's good for his self-image. We all carry a secret self inside who embodies everything we want to be and believe we can be. We ladies all have our secret "Warrior Princess" selves. Guys may be different though. Men appear to carry that image externally, so R may not be sharing his pain with the other guys at the gym. I don't talk to many people at the gym, and even fewer men, but R has always been very open, guileless, and a perfect gentleman.

Yes, there's certainly worse things than being tired. But being tired is no excuse for not paying attention to how you feel. Being tired means, pay extra attention to your form. Not to get all Zen, but you have to Be in the Moment. Always.