Am I Going to Hell?

I'm dragging a little this morning but I suspect that's due more to the chilly 52° temperature and staying up too late reading Harry Potter to my son. The gym awaits! I see B on the ellipticals and we chat briefly about my checkup. One of the machines is broken, and as we chat, I see that the other two are being boarded. I curse under my breath, but B says, "Take mine! I'm done in another minute." She goes off to do other things while I punch in my 35 minute gentle hill #6. I get 3.79 miles and have only had to cough (and swallow snot) thrice. I feel pretty good!

Knowing that it's the last work out of the week makes me reassess today's routine. For Seated Cable Rows, I decide to cut myself some slack and only do 5 sets, 3 of them max weight. But I spend a lot of time at the Cage Stretch and Kicks, finishing with my standard 12 close grip chin ups with knees curled to my chest. That doesn't really feel too bad either.

The Lat Pull Down station looks like a cocktail party with everyone standing around chatting and laughing. But no one's doing Lat Pull Downs. B is in the middle of this cluster, and I pull my hoodie down over my face and do Lower Back Extensions instead. Eventually the area clears, and I do a quick warm up set at 90 lbs, then another 5 sets at 105. I can't quite finish my sets at the end as my fingers go numb and my forearms ache at the 10th rep. Still, it's pretty good.

B comes over to do cables for her shoulders. I tell her I'm going to do 6 sets of Bent Over Reverse Grip Rows and to get me when she's ready. She never makes it. Too much chatting. I finish and move into the dumbbell area to do biceps. A quick set of alternating curls with the 15s, followed by individual bicep hammer curls with a 20 lb dumbbell. I need to rest my forearms before I do my final exercise, the Reverse Grip Bicep Barbell Curls, so I opt to use the Ab Crunch station. I'm wearing those expensive yoga pants I got from Title Nine. They look nice and feel very silky, but the industrial seam down the back is not sit-up friendly. Plus, they're a tad large and threaten to slide off my hips (I should've gotten the XS instead of the S).

I get the 30 lb bar to do my forearm curls and B finally makes it over. I show her how to do the Reverse Grip Barbell Rows so that she can feel her lats and biceps working. "I like it!" and she hopes she can remember to do it the next back workout she has. I'm pretty sure I'm going to wind up showing her the movement a few times before it actually sticks. "I'm just not having a good workout," she complains, "Too much chatting. Everyone keeps talking to me!" I smile at her because what can I say other than, "Well, R's here too." And we both turn and wave at R, who politely nods and grimaces while ignoring us.

Today's Total Workout:
35 min cardio = 3.79 miles
Seated Cable Rows: 12 @ 75 / 3 x 8 @ 120 / 12 @ 90 lbs
Lower Back Extensions: 25 @ 90 / 25 @ 97.5 lbs
Cage stretch & kicks and 12 close grip chin ups
Lower Back Extensions (again): 2 x 25 @ 97.5 lbs
Lat Pull Downs: 12 @ 90 / 5 x 12-10 @ 105 lbs
Reverse Grip Bent Over Barbell Rows: 6 x 12 @ 60 lbs
Alternating Dumbbell Curls: 12 @ 15 lbs
Hammer Curls: 3 x 12 @ 20 lbs
Ab Crunch Station: 2 x 50 (upper) / 2 x 50 @ (lower)
Reverse Grip Barbell Curls: 3 x 20 @ 30 lbs
Mat stretch

When I return to the locker room, I note that my face looks puffy. Bleah. The scale reads an unfriendly 108.4 lbs. I'm retaining water! Like I'm going to get my period (sigh)... Well, there are much worse things than that.

I'm fairly happy that V hasn't been at the gym all week. He did materialize at the edge of my driveway as I was lugging my gym bag and groceries out of my car. I was a bit surprised because it was if he'd "apparated" (to borrow a Harry Potter term) since I didn't recall passing him on our road as I drove up. He said, "Good Morning." I looked up and grunted. He said something innocuously inane, like "Good thing we didn't have any trees down." And then wandered back towards his house. I joke to my husband that V's had his driving privileges revoked and that's why he hasn't been at the gym. My husband looks at me quizzically.

"I think he lost the car," I explain as I recount how I saw V last week, wandering the supermarket parking lot, looking as if he'd misplaced his ride. "And you didn't help him find his car?" my husband said accusingly. He might've only looked like he was lost. How can I explain that "No good deed goes unpunished"? That if I offered to help him find his car, he'd think we were friends and then he'd never ever stop inflicting himself on my work outs.

V looks ancient even though he's only 62. A lot of it seems to be his complete unwillingness to exert himself doing anything. Even exercise. And he has an oddly unpleasant way of dismissing people when the conversation doesn't revolve around him. Once I mentioned that he had our house phone number, he waved his hand and said "Oh, I don't keep those." It was the same attitude when I told him that we'd sent him a text message with directions to a small dinner party over the summer, "Oh, I don't text."

Well, okay then. If you can't extend yourself for others, no one's obligated to do it for you. Is that why he hasn't fallen in with any groups at the gym? I note that people he's seen chatting with once, are rarely seen in his company again. Are they avoiding him the same as I am? In general, I try to be a good person. But the thought of V inserting himself into my exercise routine has seriously made me consider changing my workout time. I'm relieved that I don't have to. Does this make me a bad person? Am I going to hell?