Compulsive or Just Dedicated

There's probably not much difference between being compulsive and being dedicated. For instance, today is Monday and I started packing my gym bag last night so I could head out this morning without forgetting too many items. Except today is a Holiday. The 4th day of the long weekend marking the beginning of the Summer Season. This and the blistering 90 degree weather probably explains the fact that the gym parking lot is so crowded I've had to park across from the cinema. I'm hoping all these people are either taking a class, or have gone to the flicks to escape the heat.

This long weekend has made me antsy and I can't wait to get on a cardio machine and hit that blissful zone. Yes, I'm a cardio junkie. I punch in 45 minutes and reach 5.0 miles, feeling much calmer and much happier. The gym is crowded. There are new faces. I'm wondering if they've suddenly realized summer is here and they can't hide behind their clothes anymore.

I had to buy new shorts yesterday and I've learned from experience to try everything on first. Sizes are all different in different stores. We were in EMS and I snagged two pairs on shorts on sale. Size 0. I try them on and they mostly fit, or at least they fit better than any of my other shorts at home. The shorts are a bit big in the waist. Room for expansion after a big dinner I tell myself. While I'm in the fitting room, I notice in the full length mirror that I can see my quads. Not clearly, but there is a sort of stringiness to my legs that I'm not familiar with. I'm sort of stunned.

There is a huge difference between intellectually knowing something (book learned) and actually knowing something (seeing it with your own eyes and understanding it). My thighs are smaller. I knew that my pants fit differently but looking down at my thighs doesn't tell me that they're smaller. It's suddenly looking in the mirror and seeing how much less they are. And all along I've been telling myself that my workout clothes are getting baggy because they're getting worn out from every day use! So I've been lying to myself. Funny how the mind likes the static even when change is occurring on a daily basis.

I do an abbreviated workout today because it's very crowded, and besides, my son and husband are home and I'd like to spend some time doing something fun with them. So I only do some flat bench presses, a full round of delts (shoulders) because I truly believe delts make all the difference in whether you look good in sleeveless shirts or not, cursory triceps and a full set of abs. I'm sweaty and breathless as I head to the shower. The scale reads 107.4 lbs which is less than the 108 last Monday. I feel pretty good. Yes, I'm compulsive. But this has also become a lifestyle and it's the only reason that I've managed to progress this far. I'll be back tomorrow!