My Favorite Fugly Workout Shorts

Fugly but comfy!

Today is Leg Day! Yay! Although the morning dog walk was at a brisk 37°F, the afternoon promises to heat up to a tropical 70+ friggin' degrees! Ah, Spring! I've got my new Danskin Bermudas on, as well as a tank and all-cotton hoodie. My cardio workout is going well until I develop a stitch at minute 13 during Intervals. I realize that I'm doing Intervals ass-backwards (peddling as fast as I can during the valleys, which is about 195-210 SPM, and trying to maintain the leisurely 169-175 pace during peaks) but I don't think it matters that much. I'm not doing "steady state" cardio and that's what's important. I try to breath deeper and slow only a little. Eventually the stitch passes and I'm relieved. When I'm done, I have to wipe strands of sticky white mucous off my lips and blow my nose. My hoodie is drenched and I feel great.

I've been attacked by insects and have half a dozen bites to show for it. One is on the inside of my right thigh so I'm really glad that these shorts fit loosely. Seams are killing me there and I've resorted to pasting bandaids over the bite to keep it from being chafed. At the Smith, I do Squats and Stiff-Legged Dead Lifts. The gym is oddly crowded for a Wednesday. At the next bench is a chubby guy wearing a hoodie and shorts that come to his knees. Suddenly, I feel like I'm wearing a uniform! It's a generational thing: girls wear tanks and shorts or lime green sweat pants, middle-aged moms wear t-shirts and yoga pants, elderly ladies wear button down blouses and slacks. I've seen a few old guys working out in jeans and button down shirts as well. But it's not like they've ever built up enough momentum to actually bust a sweat.

Today's Total Workout:
35 min hill = 4.05 miles + 35 min intervals = 4.32 miles  Grand Total = 8.37 miles Wahoo!
I only rest about 2 minutes between the first and second cardio sessions; just enough time to blow my nose, gulp a long swig of water and reset the elliptical.
Smith Squat: 12 @ bar (butt down to heels) / 6 x 12 @ 95 lbs
There's a crowd at the actual Squat Rack and I've no wish to be in the middle of it, especially since The Mayor and M seem to be offering advice to everyone there.
Smith Stiff-Legged Dead Lift: 6 x 12 @ 95 lbs (damn, these never get easier!)
Cage Stretch & Kicks
Didn't make it to kickboxing last night so I'm definitely going to do a round at the Nexersys later.
12 Pistol Squats each leg
Seated Leg Extension: 6 x 15 @ 60 lbs (my left knee is sporadically twinging)
Seated Leg Curl: 15 @ 90 lbs (this seems easy so I up the weight) / 12 @ 97.5 lbs / (oh hell, go for broke and up it again) 12 @ 105 lbs (next time I'll just do 3 sets at this weight)
Mat Stretch: the stretches are my cool down although there's enough stress to actually make me perspire while I'm doing it; I'd stretch out on the mat for an impromptu nap if I wasn't so drenched that it'd just make everything gross.

I put all my gear in the locker, retrieve my stupid pink gloves and head to one of two Nexersys stations. While I'm in the locker room, an elderly lady says to me, "You really work out hard! Every time I see you, you're working out hard!" I tell her, "I figure I should do it while I can because eventually I won't be able to. I don't want to wake up one day and say, Damn, I should'a spent less time watching TV and more time at the gym." It's the truth. I wanted a hard body, and I'm awful close now. Of course, once you get that perfect (for your own ideals) body, then you have to work at maintaining it! Better than spending $25/week getting a "maintenance manicure". OMG, is that what ladies here spend their money on? Oh, but a good manicure will cost you $40... it's no wonder that I plug in my iPod as soon as I reach the lockers.

I decide to be brave today and hit the QuickStart button which jumps right into sparring. Except for the fact that I can't really hear the screen over the ambient gym music, this is a lot of fun. I get beeped a few times for hitting too hard, but it doesn't cause the action to stop. I discover that my right hits a lot harder than my left, and that I've got to figure out how to power kick without squishing my toes. Otherwise, I have a damn good time!

The gym scale reads 108.6 lbs. Whew! I'm relieved. And I look a lot less puffy today. I suck down my ice cold Ensure in the car, then it's off to do errands. Later, suddenly hungry with no time to fix anything reasonable to eat, I reluctantly break open a vanilla Muscle Milk 20 gm protein drink and mix it with 3 tsp of Nestle Strawberry Quik because that at least makes it palatable. I'm not all that concerned about sugar content right now.