Channeling Roseanne

It's always something. I had plans to work out on Wednesday and even on Thursday, but just had too many things to do. I did make it today although it was past noon and filling with regulars and teens. My sciatica isn't bothering me too much, which is great. But I've been experiencing a different type of discomfort that is even more socially unacceptable to discuss in polite company. Not drugs, not sexual deviance. Nope. Those are follower-inducing social media topics du jour. No, I'm talking about hemorrhoids. 

Unfortunately, there's a lot of misinformation about the causes: being overweight, not eating enough roughage (vegetables), straining from constipation, stress-induced constipation. No one ever mentions genetics. There is a familial susceptibility. Both my parents suffered from it and upon occasion, so do I. Usually, though, it doesn't sneak up on me with internal pain. I've always thought of it as the inside bits get caught outside where they're not supposed to be. Once they're tucked inside with a little inflammation-reducing medication, everything is back to normal. 

But not this time. This time there is no external tell-tale bundle of tiny grapes. There's pain in odd positions, like lying in bed (especially on the side). My mind races with improbable thoughts of anal cancer so I'm relieved when I find the hard pea lump just inside the sphincter. A day later and the traditional symptoms are present. Searching appropriate medications, I read the ingredient lists and discover that at least no one uses shark liver oil anymore. Whew. Instead, the active ingredient that will shrink the tissue is a vasoconstrictor called Phenylephrine Hcl. (It's the same thing in fake Sudafed.) The advanced formulas include a mild anesthetic and a lubricant. 

None of this matters though since it doesn't impede my workout. I'm not thrilled about all the chatty young people in the gym though, especially when I overhear them discussing whether to drink or not at tomorrow's Friendsgiving Party because they're still kind of hung over from yesterday. Great. Just who I want to share airspace with. Thank goodness we're all masked and I'm nowhere near them. 

Pushups aren't too hard. The ClimbMill surprised me by hitting 60 steps per minute for several seconds and then bounced between 55 and 57 for the rest of the time. Sometimes it dropped to 52 and all without any reason. I have no plans to go to the gym over the weekend but that's not set in stone. 

27Nov2020
Post-Turkey Friday

Precor elliptical
35 min
Program 3
HR 142, 194, 79
Cal 319
Distance 2.86

Crunches x 60 x 2
Piriformis Stretch
Plank 60s
Fire Hydrants 25 x 2
Bird Dogs 60s x 2
Fire Hydrants 25 x 2
Plank 60s
Pushups 50
Quick Mat Stretch

Matrix Step
Speed 6
Min 15
HR 118
Cal 119
Steps 814
Floors 50