Pros and Cons

Yep, big arms!

There's pros and cons to just about everything, including getting what you think you want. When I review photos I took of myself last year (2012), I liked my face but thought the rest of me looked kind of scrawny. I've since put on about 4 lbs and I'm happier with my lifts, my muscles seem fuller and thicker, but I'm unhappy with how puffy my face looks all the time. Or at least in photos I take of myself at the gym. It's always something!

The left side of my neck and shoulder were still sore this morning in spite of a vigorous massage last night, but getting hot and sweaty (via exercise) seems to have mitigated most of the pain. I tend to see soreness as a challenge to push through so it's no wonder I surprised myself at cardio today. My elbows, especially the left one, are still tender and I've decided to skip exacerbating movements like dumbbell (DB) curls and pull ups (and/or chin ups).

Aloe back from the dead

The rain seems to have cooled the temperature and I'm hoping that it'll also revive the long neglected aloe plant I've had in my window for years. It's mostly a pale lifeless tan color but hints of pale sea green are creeping back up into the rubbery leaves. This may yet be another plant resurrection (the impatient is blooming in my kitchen window, still planted in its original plastic drinking cup). I'm a terrible gardener and once my plants are outside in the elements, I let Nature take its toll. Mostly this has worked for the overgrown jade plant I inherited from my sister's now deceased ex-mother-in-law, although the first few frosty nights (temps below 34°F) caused it to shed most of its leaves. But tiny new ones are growing back. The potted thyme seems relatively healthy, even as it over-wintered outside, unprotected on a garden bench. The coddled rosemary that spent winter in the kitchen has survived being left outdoors since early April. Benign neglect is my motto with houseplants.

Today's 2nd Pull Day Workout:
35 min cardio hill #5 = 4.10 miles Damn, am I surprised!
Seated Cable Rows: 12 @ 45 (just an experiment to see if this lower warm up will help) / 12 @ 90 / 10 @ 105 / 8 @ 120 / 3 x 6 @ 135. I still like the weight at 120 best. 
Cage Stretch & Kicks (a new middle-aged guy asks me if the kicks are tae kwon do and I say No, because they're not, but I'm not going to explain what I'm doing)
Reverse Grip Bent-Over BB Rows: 6 x 15 @ 105 lbs (it's the weakest link, the two smallest fingers on my left hand, that starts to fail, not my back or biceps)
Torso Twist Station: 2 x 25 @ 50 lbs
Lower Back Extensions: 2 x 25 @ 97.5 lbs
Flat Bench Twisting Sit Ups: 125
Lower Ab Kick Outs: 100
BB Curls (I'm still debating whether to go for the 50 but I'm leery of really hurting my elbows so I stay with what I know I can handle): 6 x 15 @ 45 lbs
Reverse Grip BB Curls: 3 x 20 @ 40 lbs
Pull Ups (I can't resist doing just one set but there are consequences and my elbow complains): 12
Mat Stretch
Today I'm actually able to roll forward in my horizontal split and lay on my face/chest with my legs 95% flat against the mat. It's been a slow steady progression. My vertical splits are fairly good, the right leading leg better than the left leading leg. I'm pretty happy overall.

The gym starts to fill up late morning. Perhaps everyone had errands to do before the rain. I chatted briefly with B and Mo, saw the regular guys like The Mayor, Nixon, Ranger Rick, Skinny J, Fish Guy, Hoodie Tattoo, ZZ and Eagle Eye. Some of the younger guys have pretty nice bods but I'm not one to stare. I'd rather just peek. I'm actually afraid that staring will be construed as interest, or worse yet, an invitation. Being socially inept, I have no idea how to gracefully handle these sort of situations. Unless you want to talk training. But women and men train differently, respond differently. I see Nixon watching from a distance. He performs basic moves like squats and dead lifts and he's got pretty decent arms (today's the first time I've seen him in a tank). Skinny J looks emaciated. Fish Guy seems to have put on weight overnight. Eagle Eye has a great body except for those erratic tattoos.

The scale again disappoints me and reads 110.4 lbs. Okay, I am definitely bigger and heavier. While 4 lbs might not seem a lot, it profoundly shifts the way I view myself. Last summer, one of my neighbors exclaimed that I looked like a teenager. I had muscles but they were smaller, and I was thinner. Now I'm bigger. I don't think I look like a teenager anymore. I'm sad to let that go. On the other hand, I've been trying to get stronger for ages now. For me, size accommodates strength. It's not always true for other women. There's a gal who can squat and dead lift way more than I can. She's also about 20 or more years younger than I am. She posted her measurements online and taking into account that she's probably a good 6-7 inches taller than me, she only weighs 20 lbs more but she's got smaller arms and chest, bigger waist and hips. I can also bench more than she can (even subtracting the Smith counterweight).  I've seen photos of her: she's a stick. And I'm not, and never will be. I'm just trying to get comfortable in my skin. Again.