Mindfulness is Hard

I got a call from the MRI folks who tell me that they don't have authorization from my health insurance to proceed and that I'll need to call my doc to get this sorted out. Ugh. My doctor's office can't tell me why the request hasn't been sent to the insurance company yet (I checked with the health insurance company first just to make sure). If they send the quest as an "emergency" it should arrive in time to allow me to get pictures of my lower back. After all, it's only been nearly seven months if we're starting from last August. Just ignore the past few years of intermittent sciatica...

Today I have weird pains that only last for five or ten minutes, like an ache in the center of my right palm while I'm pedaling the elliptical. (Glad I'm not doing pull-ups today!) What persists is the unpleasant vibration that bounces through the back of my hips when I step down, as if the body's shock absorbers have deflated. (My knees and feet are worse and that's the reason I don't run.)

Warm temps are lulling us and the birds into a false sense of Spring. Come this weekend and the air chills down 20 degrees with the threat of snow. Maybe I should bring in more firewood. The boys have a Scout event in NJ on Saturday and they'll be gone until Sunday, probably sleeping in a tent in 22F weather. (I would've gone too except I still don't have reliable dog sitting set up for my pups.) Today's routine is routine but I skip pull-ups and keep the TV on while plodding on the Step Mill. Watching Olympic coverage helps pass the time and ten minutes seems easier. It's an illusion, of course. But it seems to be working.

What also seems to be working is me trying to break the mindless snacking habit. It's difficult to stay focused. No one wants to think about every little thing they put into their mouth. That almost borders on the obsessiveness of destructive food-centered behaviors like bulimia. (And no, I'm not going to chew each mouthful 32 times, aka Fletcherism.) But I have cut back on snacking and drinking and I'm warily happy to see the scale inch downward. It's slow progress and I have to make sure that I don't self-sabotage with a sudden eating binge. Anxiety makes people do unhelpful things. If I can sustain the momentum, I might even be able to squeeze back into my "normal clothes" in a few months.

11 February 2021
Balmy Friday

Precor elliptical
Program 2
Time: 30 min + 5 min cd (5580)
Distance: 2.83
Cal: 314
HR: n/a


Crunches 60
Piriformis/Hip/Pencil Stretch
60 Dead Bugs
Elbow Plank 60s
Quick Child’s Pose
Cat stretch 12x
Fire Hydrants 25 x 2
Bird Dogs 60s x 2
Child’s Pose
Push-Ups 30
Air Squats 25
Mild Mat stretch w 3 Eye Yoga


Matrix StepMill
Manual 10 min
Speed 6 (55)
Step 542
Floors 33
Calories 79
HR: 141