Soon Is Another 4-Letter Word

The Autumnal Equinox passed a few days earlier and the weather has changed dramatically. Colorful leaves have been falling. Temps dip into the low 50s at night and peak in the high 60s. It rained a bit last night but this morning the skies are a breezy clear blue. The dog has had a weak appetite but still manages to eat a teaspoon of yogurt with probiotic powder mixed in. Saltine crackers don't interest him, nor does the chicken gizzards and rice in his food bowl. Last night, he begged for the left over london broil I'd reheated and sliced up for dinner. He wolfed them down. But he can't control his bowels and after a long meandering walk where he pooped loosely, his tail starts to jerk as he's lying on his dog bed. Oh no! He's pooped himself. It's another weird seizure. Luckily he's lying at the edge his bed and I can wipe up the tile floor and his back legs.

All dog parents know that poop is an indicator of canine health: orange gooey slime indicates bile issues, and oozy blackish lumps? I don't know. I take him out several times a day because he can be fine one moment and desperately have to pee or poop the next. There's no consistency with his illness. Last week he had great normal bowel movements, this week he's had accidents several days in a row. I know his time is coming. It's going to be soon just based on his appetite and the ornery way his body is declining. He still likes his walks, still shows interest in all the different Autumn scents in the wet leaves and tall grass, but the back end of him is withering away...

The Wegreeco 3-pack of washable dog wraps arrived from Amazon yesterday. I ordered them based on the many positive reviews, the fact that they're suppose to be leak proof and have an extra pocket inside in case you need to insert additional absorbent padding. Everyone says to size up because a diaper that's too small is useless. But these diapers, size XL based on my dog's 28" waist (measured right in front of his hind legs), are actually too big. Or more precisely, they are too wide at nearly 9.5" which is a lot more than the distance between my dog's back legs and the deep swoop of his rib cage. They are waterproof, but because they're too wide, they don't stay positioned properly and my dog has wet sides this morning instead of just a wet belly.

A useful tip is that the bigger belly bands really require at least 3 hands to secure properly: two to position both ends of the wrap securely around the dog's waist, and the third to carefully align the harsh velcro edges so that there's no chance of snagging things the dog may inadvertently bump up against. I make my son help me hold the dog still because this is even more difficult when the dog insists on walking away while you're trying to rewrap him with a fresh diaper.

I actually favor the slightly too small So Phresh wraps, which don't come any bigger than the L size. Not only can I affix these wraps by myself, this brand's shape actually fits my dog perfectly: there's a cushiony absorbent pad right below his belly, and it's narrow enough to stay in position. My dog never has wet haunches or sides while wearing these. It's just not 100% leak proof, but works well enough and come 2 to a package. I wash out dog diapers 6 to 8 times a day, or as many times as he goes for a walk since he can't wear a diaper with his butt harness.

The harness needs to be rinsed after each walk as well (because old urine really stinks up the house), but they're never dry by the time the next walk comes around even though I'm alternating between the two. There's the total ick factor of handling a wet harness even though it's been washed. And I'm not sure what I'm going to do once it gets cold enough for frost since I won't be able to hang the harnesses outside to drip dry!

If this seems like hospice care, it's because it is. I know the dog has limited time. He might know it too. Lately, he's been very needy, wedging his head against my legs while I rub his ears and tell him what a good puppy he is. After a few moments, he pops his head up and acts like his normal self, checking the food and water bowls, looking for intruders in the driveway. But, mostly sleeping in front of the storm door. I call my vet to ask if there's anything else that I can do without veterinary assistance. They suggest medications I know the dog won't touch because he still has his sense of smell. They also suggest a hospice vet, Comforting Care Vet Service, who can provide at-home euthanasia when the time comes. An internet search reveals a growing field of hospice veterinary services, because as we all know, just as everyone poops, everyone dies. There are listings for Connecticut, New Jersey and closest to me, Westchester county. Because dying peacefully in one's sleep, although the preferred death, is an actual rarity, I know I'll be calling this vet in the next few days. Death is most often a painful struggle. I've seen it first hand, and there's no reason to put my pup through it.

I'm not feeling horribly motivated to change my barely-working out routine. Call it the Autumn Blahs. Yesterday, I was too tired to go to the gym, and too tired to nap until late in the afternoon. Even though both my eyeballs felt like there were little weights sitting on top of them (sleep deprivation!) and I was dizzy and nauseous, I still had a hard time falling asleep. It's probably because I'm such a light sleeper than little things, like the road crew outside my house taking down tree branches between the power lines, and the garbage truck, and the mail truck, and the dryer sounding every 45 minutes, conspired to keep me awake. Eventually I did fall asleep, and I only know this because I woke up to my son coming home from school. I'm still driving him to school, but the bus home has been on time, more or less. Apparently, I'm not the only parent driving their kid to school every morning due to the messed up school bus schedule.

My glaucoma doc will be happy though. I see her next week when I have to drop another huge amount of money. Yeah, that's what credit cards are for, right?

TGI Friday

30 min recumbent bike
Calories 116
Miles 2.77
HR 111-107