It's late morning by the time I get to the gym, and the cardio platform is fairly empty. I still have the remnants of a head cold, so I carry a wad of tissues in my hoodie pocket. Regular women's gym clothes don't normally have pockets, which reminds me of this old Tim Curry song Charge It on the Fearless album (1979) —yes, I own the vinyl— because at the end of the song, there's a line about not carrying cash because the tailor says pockets make the suit ugly. Oh hell, I'll just include it here:
I'm trying to figure out the right balance between cardio and time. I'd like to spend less time at the gym, but I know that I have to make up for less cardio by exchanging a "run" on the elliptical for something more challenging, like Intervals, or ideally, HIIT cardio. My body has acclimatized to 30+ minutes on the cross-trainer before I lift weights. For me, that feels like a true warm up and I'm not really tired afterwards.
Trainers and fitness articles will tell you to put cardio at the end to reserve your energy for pushing heavier and harder. My issue with that is that I'm limited by joint issues. There's only so heavy that I can go before the joints and ligaments court injuries. For me, it's happened with benching and my right shoulder, RDLs and sciatica in my right leg, curls and rows and elbow pain. I'm also 57 years old, so being realistic, I'm not going to push heavier. I'm just happy I can still push. I go for reps instead because it's what I can do. Plus, it builds endurance. And maybe it'll keep my bones dense?
With body fat creeping up, I have concerns about becoming "skinny fat", especially since my arms look very smooth and puffy. My saving grace is that I'm still strong. My mother was a true example of skinny fat: 5'2" and 85 lbs but with soft puffy pipe cleaner arms that reminded me of pale-white cheese doodles, with the same awful visual texture. Being light on the scale doesn't mean you're lean. It just means you weigh less.
Of course, my own body image insecurities are also rooted in my parents telling me that I'm fat when I was 11 years old and 96 lbs. Because I was then, as I am now, just under 5 feet tall. When I got to HS, my mother tried to squeeze me into clothes that she considered girly and dainty (and tiny). If you know me at all, you know that's so Not me. If my weight inched up past 107 lbs, I was too fat to close the buttons and zippers. Sigh.
Unfortunately, knowing the origins of my insecurities doesn't do much to alleviate my body-image anxieties. What I haven't been able to figure out is how to permanently reset the body's own set point, the weight range your body wants to live in. At least without starving myself. Building muscle is suppose to help boost your metabolism, enabling you to eat more, but I have plenty of muscle. I don't think my metabolism is any higher than it used to be. My body wants to be heavier. For a few weeks I tried eating normal meals for lunch and dinner, and I put on weight. Now I'm back to having a protein drink post-workout, and big salads with supper. I just have to sell it to my boys at dinner time.
I had planned to do a Push Day, but the Smith was never available. Big Glasses Dude grabbed it right after the little Latino guy was done. Then the Mayor came in, gathered a cluster of old dudes, and I never looked at the free weight area again. Nope. I'll just do more cardio, but Intervals instead. It's been a while, and I've still got the sniffles and a sporadic cough so just 20 minutes to ease into it. An old Asian guy looks stricken after I do a set of pull ups. Other guys hover as I do my Mat Stretch. Because they've never seen anyone do a split before? Or do a Downward Dog and put their elbows on the floor? Whatever. I'm back tomorrow. Maybe the Smith will be free...
Monday
4.67 miles
20 min xtrainer
Calories 95
Miles 2.59
Average Heart Rate 152
HGPU 26
Push Ups 60
Scissors 50
Bicycles 50
Crunches 50
Bird Dogs 2 x 60s
Side Planks 2 x 60s
Push Ups 60
20 elliptical
Intervals
Calories 183
Miles 2.08
Average Heart Rate 151
HGPU 26
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