Black T-shirt Day

Lately, I wake up stiff and sore and I wonder if it isn't time for a new mattress. Mine is over 20 years old and is too big to flip. It's so big and heavy that the side handles broke a long time ago. There's absolutely no hope of getting the king size monster on its side, much less flipped onto its belly. I hear that newer mattresses don't require turning. That's great. But mattresses are expensive, and there's so many other things that require the same amount of money. I'm considering getting a mattress topper instead, just to make it feel like I've got new bedding. It's certainly cheaper.

The last thing I feel like doing is going to the gym. It's 50°F out and I'm tossing a light flannel shirt in my gym bag. Temps promise to rise into the 70s later. Maybe even the 80s by midweek. I suspect that once I warm up, I'll feel more like exercising. Right now I'm positively reptilian and just want to bask some place warm, preferably on a flat slab in the sun. Fishing around in my gym gear drawer, I find a filmy black T-shirt. It's branded with the Reebok logo and says size M. I don't think I've ever worn it, and I actually can't remember how I acquired it either.

I should've been more particular with my sports bra today. Instead, I put on a one-piece Everlast sports bra. I should've known better. I'm much happier with the skinnier strap sports bras because they're so much more comfortable (I obviously don't need massive breast support). The thick straps of this bra creep up and cut into my neck, and they don't stay low on my traps when I readjust them. It's much harder to yank the straps down while wearing a T-shirt, no matter how smooth and silky it is.

Normally I wear something with adjustable straps because I'm an odd size: big back so big band, but don't really need big cups. I just need some headlight protection so that I'm not self-conscious when I work out. Honestly, being self-conscious is probably the worst impediment to a decent workout. The T-shirt itself is actually really nice. The arms just fit, but again, I have big arms. The rest of it billows around the waist, but I don't feel too hot or sweaty. Plus, I don't get all skeeved out while I'm laying on the bench or mat.

I'm not sure if I look like a ninja or a waiter, or maybe a bit of both. Smith Inclined Presses done. Delts done. Tricep press downs done. Big Mountain Glasses Dude hovers. I try to avoid him. I'm sure he's harmless, but not only am I not even remotely interested in talking to him, he creeps me out a little. Probably because he once sat down across from me with the weirdest love-sick puppy dog expression. I pretend not to see him and move on with my workout. WTC is here today too. I see a few other regulars but mostly the gym is empty. It's the 16th anniversary of the fall of the Twin Towers, and I feel appropriately dressed. In the locker room, the TV broadcasts the annual ritual of naming all those lost by surviving family members. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing, and how beautiful the cloudless blue sky appeared.

I've been busy learning how to become my son's Boy Scout Troop's Advancement Chair. Luckily, Court of Honors only happen three times a year. I've also enrolled in an editing course, which makes me nervous. Because I'm a very anxious person, and I worry that I'm so much dumber than I think I am. Call it Imposter Syndrome. But if I succeed, I'll be qualified to apply for editing and writing jobs that I currently don't dare even look at. Because I have no self-confidence. Which is probably not as bad as being over-confident. Or maybe it is? I'm sure super-successful people are super confident. Sigh.

Not sure what I'm doing tomorrow, but I'll drag myself to the gym just to find out.

Monday

35 xtrainer
Calories 172
Miles 4.15
Average Heart Rate 157

HGPU 26
Push Ups 60

Smith Inclined Press
Bar (30) x 15
50 x 13
70 x 13
80 x 13
60 x 25
50 x 25

DB Laterals s/s Rev Incl Flyes
20/25lbs x 12/15reps x 3 sets

V-bar Cable Press Down
30lbs x 12
40 x 12 x 2