All Good Things Come to an End

My husband came home a day early and not only was it unexpected, but I could smell the alcohol exuding from his pores. He lies to me and tells me he's not drinking. After almost five months of sobriety, he's drinking again, and lying to me and himself. As the oldest child of combative parents, I tend to be non-confrontational in my relationships. Psych articles will tell you that eldest daughters grow up to be peace-makers and care-takers. But I can't sleep when he goes to bed, and I wind up emptying all the small bottles of Tito's vodka I find under my husband's desk. I know I fell asleep eventually because I woke up in the middle of a dream, trying to identify the old man I'm interacting with. He's actually a figment so nothing to worry about.

It's cold and rainy when the alarm sounds. My husband gets up much earlier and is at work at his desk. He has a deadline, but I'm suspicious of the weird giggling emanating from upstairs. When I get back from the gym and he's out, I find another mostly empty small bottle of vodka stashed in a drawer upstairs. I empty and toss that too. He's not going to complain or confront me about it since he can't even admit that he's drinking again. He just says he's off his diet because the work schedule was too hectic for regular healthy meals. While the problem with the schedule is real, that's not the reason he's put on weight. No, it's the drinking which leads to binge eating. 

This morning I tell him I know he's lying and that things always get worse when he's drinking, that I'd like us to repair our relationship. His response (after I get back from the gym) is to ask whether I'd like to have Mother's Day meal on Sunday or postpone it until our son can join us. He never actually addresses any issues. He's never apologized. He just buys things that he thinks I'll like. I feel sad and depressed. I'm not sure I can go through another decade of progressively bad behavior.

I'm at the gym later than I'd like but I've avoided the Seniors. And oddly, elliptical #1 is available although #2 and 3 are occupied. I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth, so I happily pedal away until I'm drenched with sweat. Then I get my piddly pull-ups done. Off to the Aerobics Room which seems warm but gradually chills until it's the frosty temp I'm used to. Everything is good, except, as predicted, Wall Squats have me screaming a little inside my head. No way I'd ever scream out loud...

I'm still researching why Blogger stopped allowing me to import my own pix into my own blog. It's not even limited to the Duck Duck Go browser (which prevents cookies and trackers) because I've also tried importing images while in Google's own Chrome browser. And no go. As a last resort, I actually drag the image off my desktop onto the blog page, and shockingly, that works! WTF?

10 May 2024 12:16-1:33

Rainy Friday 

 

Precor elliptical #1

Program 3

Time: 30+5 (5810)

Distance: 2.87

Cal: 321

Avg Hr: 161, 192-79

Fitbit: 52-140

HGPU 15

20 Hip Bridges

Piriformis/Hip/Pencil Stretch

DeadBugs 20 x 5

10 Hip Bridges & 10 one-leg

Quick Child’s Pose

Cat stretch 12

Child’s Pose / Cobra Pose

Fire Hydrants 20 x 2

Bird Dog Planks 60s x 2

Push-Ups 25

Air Squats 25 (knees)

Arm rotations 20

Neck stretch / Eye yoga

Wall Squat 120s !!!