Playing It Safe

Today is Monday and although I've had time to go to the gym, I didn't. Mostly because I've had so little sleep that I thought I'd really hurt myself either there, or later when I have to take my son to his kung fu class. My husband and I are guilty of binge-watching SuperNatural. My hubs has only just discovered it, so we're in the middle of streaming Season 2. We used to watch The Night Stalker (own it all on DVDs), and the X-Files, so this is a great show to discover there's 12 seasons to, and still ongoing as far as we know. We also went to see WarCraft on the big screen, and enjoyed every moment of it. My son is a fan as well. Now if only my hubs can get his laptop to work so he can game online with my son.

My hip is still twingy when I'm not paying attention. The dog is more active on cooler days so the advent of summer does not bode well. Higher temps means he'll be more inclined to sleep in, which is good for resting his unstable legs, but bad for the rest of him. I've cut him down to one major meal a day (breakfast) when I give him the bulk of his meds. Then he gets small peanut butter sandwiches throughout the day with other pain meds hidden inside. I don't want him to get fat and put even more stress on his already fragile limbs.

I've formulated an off-the-wall theory about my progressing glaucoma that probably has no basis in actual science, but we all have our secret personal mythologies. I think my entire nervous system is just more sensitive in general. I can't wear belts or anything tight: not only does it leave a persistent mark, but the compression causes numbness. I can't seem to breathe if I'm slumped in a chair, or wearing an ill-fitting bra. Even one that fits has a time limit before I need to inhale more deeply. And fabrics had better be soft! My mother was quite disappointed in my refusal to wear scratchy, lacy gauze skirts or roughly sewn seams.

I'm horribly sensitive to cigarette smoke to the point of being ill (weeping eyes, burning sinuses, nausea, coughing), can detect the faintest scents especially when I'm congested and most people say they can't smell a thing, have pretty decent hearing, and apparently near 20/20 vision. But lately, I'm suffering from sporadic tingling in my right hand, and the occasional carpal tunnel twinge inside my wrist. I've always suffered from unexplained intense pinpoint pain that lasts for a second or two and then vanishes, never to recur in that exact spot. I don't tell anyone because I don't want them to think I'm crazy. I'm sure it's just a section of nerve acting up.

My right side is a mess. The foot has a bunion and three hammer toes that seem to have developed (slowly) after I had a schwannoma (benign nerve sheath tumor) removed from inside that ankle. Apparently hammer toes can be caused by the bunion. And the bunion, I believe, was caused by the schwannoma on the posterior tibial nerve. Yep, a domino effect. More interesting are the symptoms of TTS (tarsal tunnel syndrome) which seems to relate to the numbing tingling I get from pedaling too long on the cross-trainer. Luckily for me, a few easy stretching movements seems to restore my feet to normal until the next time.

So what does this "personal mythology" do for me? It gives me a way to make sense of things that are otherwise overwhelming. An illusion of control, and the guise of being actively responsible for my own fate. Maybe I should be reading up on eye vitamins, or supplements to support nerve functions? It's something to do.