Warm and Dry Equals Clean

Every time I stumble across sweaty women in the locker room blow drying their hair before they scamper out to their cars, I'm reminded of the Jeff Foxworthy routine about the differences between men and women. Specifically, cleanliness. I'll paraphrase: "A guy will take his dirty shirt and toss it in the dryer. Because warm and dry equals clean." But I can't do it. I'm so sweaty that puddles can be wrung out of my clothes. I'm not entirely sure what type of work out only leaves your head damp, and the rest of you not stinky. It certainly wasn't kickboxing the machine.

I haven't whacked the machine in over a week, so I'm due. I've finally figured out how to twist my braid into a coil and secure it with just another scrunchy. It's not pretty, but it works well enough to keep my hair out of my face and from getting tangled in my headphone wires. Looping the wires down my back also helps so I don't accidentally snag them with my gloves and rip them out of my ears. Yep, I've already done that. More than once! Of course, wires going down the back of your shirt presents totally different problems, mostly when trying to disrobe.

I also have a new pair of training gloves to test out at the Cage for pull ups. The issue has been not enough palm padding. These new gloves are snug, oddly patterned, but maybe what I'm looking for. So far, I haven't been able to find a suitable replacement for my old leather FlexSport gloves. The Meister gloves I'm currently using are okay, but not not as good as my old gloves. At least they haven't ripped apart yet. The new MRX gloves are so snug I'm worried that they'll split at the seams. Oh well... gloves aren't any good if you don't use them.

At the Nexersys, I probably expended too much energy on the 5 warm up Beginner Rounds. I don't usually see Power numbers this high. One of my blows was 2 points shy of 300. Of course, the machine gets its revenge during Intermediate and Advance rounds when I occasionally blank the machine, or it fails to register a Lead Kick. I'm still looking to replace my headphones as well because I find the earplug aspect of these a bit disconcerting. Disconcerting that the best sound quality occurs when my head is tilted down and I'm staring at my feet. Disconcerting that my heartbeat and swallowing are almost as loud as the backbeat. Disconcerting that occasionally, an earbud will just fall or pop out of my ear.

MRX gloves

My left leg sciatica is going to flare up. I already know this, so after whacking the machine, I unwrap and clamber onto the elliptical for 20 minutes of pedaling, backward and forward. I start sweating profusely again and I can't help but liken it to rain dripping off my eye lashes and nose. The new gloves are very snug but that's because I'm a skosh bigger than size Small (7" circling the palm) since my hands measure 7.125". The mediums would be too loose at 8". I'm actually surprised at how easy it is to pull myself up at the Stretch Cage, but of course, it gets harder with each additional rep. And I'll repeat myself here: I don't drop into a full extension to spare my elbows and forearms. I'm primarily interested in this as a lat (back) movement. Except for the last rep. That one I'll do from a full drop. Just to prove to myself that it's a real pull up.

At the Mats, two boys have two solid barbells on the Mats. I don't know why anyone chooses to stand on soft squishy 2" foam mats to do BB curls. There are three Mats and they're standing right in the middle of all of them, so I pull out an earbud and ask them if they are on all the mats. Except I'm not smiling. The Mats are for doing floor exercises. The only reason to have BBs on them is to anchor your feet if you're attempting old-fashion sit ups. They retreat and do their curls on the strip of floor between all the mats. I don't know why they're not in the middle of the gym where the BB racks are. There's plenty of room there, and mirrors for them to check their form. Good grief.

Afterwards, I do some grocery shopping and finally notice that regular milk purveyors are also trying to cash in on the "more protein" bandwagon. Being hungry probably had something to do with my tossing the FairLife high protein (19 gms) chocolate milk into my cart. I find that in the organic dairy section (which also contains non-dairy items like almond milk, etc.). Being curious made me purchase the high protein (30 gms) chocolate milk Rockin' Refuel (from Shamrock Farms) I find in the regular dairy section at the other end of the store. It has much less sugar and labels itself a "recovery" drink. It has less sugar because it also has sucralose, and a bunch of stuff I don't quite understand. When I get home, I do a taste test. RR is definitely not as sweet, but mildly sweet chocolate milk is actually kind of weird. It also gives me a mild upset stomach. I don't think I'll be buying this again.

There are several packages at the front door when I get home. One of them is the Sony earphones I ordered from Amazon. They look like my old earphones except these are pale pink. I don't really care about the color, just that they hook over my ears and have great sound quality. I'll keep the earplug earbuds as backups. Through trial and error, I've decided that Sony makes the best "low-end"workout earphones. I'm not willing to spend $100+ on headphones, and that popular over-the-head style seems really uncomfortable and impractical. (I don't even like ear muffs!) I'm not planning to take my son to the gym tomorrow so I'll be back on Friday. Probably anther cardio and Smith machine day.

Here's a Jeff Foxworthy routine for your amusement: 



HumpDay Workout

Elliptical Training

Warm Up

Calorie :   93 CAL
Distance: 0.83 mile
Duration : 00:10:00

Nexersys KickBoxing

Follow Me

Lap/Rep :  15 Lap/Rep
Duration : 01:00:00

Elliptical Training

Prgm#3

Calorie :   184 CAL
Distance: 1.65 mile
Duration : 00:20:00

Hammer Grip Pull Up

227.73

Set 1 : 112x31

Photos posted for actual stats:

5 rounds Beginner

5 rounds Intermediate

5 rounds Advance

Priorities

My husband doesn't have to go back to Boston so far, so we spent the weekend binge watching, It's especially bad since we've not had the ability to stream programming for nearly two weeks, and I think we're all in a sort of withdrawal, wanting to get our fill before the next blackout period. My husband isn't as selective as I'd like about what he watches, and so crap movies like Pandemic and The Conjuring, and it's sequel, made the list. Ugh. Well, at least I got to watch The Revenant, and Bridge of Spies.

It's been hot so we haven't ventured out of the house much either, except to take the dog for his walk, and to take out the trash. It's nice not having plans. My son slept in so I tease him that he must've grown at least an inch or two. Today is his first day of camp, so I pack all my gym gear as well. I've nearly given up on finding Thinning Shears for the dog. After filling out the online form for PoshDogsKneeBrace, I get a phone call from the owner of the company. He explains that I should trim my dog's fur with Thinning Shears (he tells me that they're available at any beauty supply shop for about $12) to get better measurements, and better photos for them to use in constructing his new braces. I feel like this is yet another hurdle to jump because I'm having trouble finding any beauty supply shops in my area. They've all become nail salons. Ugh.

The gym seems a bit quiet for a Monday, but school is over so the HS kids come in later. When they wake up. Meanwhile, I get my priorities straight: cardio, then basic moves. I'm back to being able to knock out a 100 push ups straight, but I skip the 2nd set today. No small bench for the Smith machine, so I use the bigger adjustable for sets of Inclined Benching. Then a few sets of Smith SLDLs. This still knocks the wind out of me at the heavier weights. I wish I could take a selfie doing these, because I like seeing the lat flair as I straighten up. Arms look pretty good too.

I got good reps on my first set of pull ups, finally ignoring that little voice in my head that tells me how much I hate doing pull ups. I didn't get to a second set until my workout was done. A middle-age lady in a knee brace was in the Stretch Cage. She only comes to the gym with her husband, who ever so slightly reminds me of Humpty Dumpty. They seem sweetly devoted to each other. She's very tenuous and unstable on her feet. He's a bit more brave. I'm not rushing anyone, so I skip that set and figure I'll circle back after my last round of cardio.

I do a few cursory stretches, but since I'm wearing shorts, I'm not inclined to do a Mat Stretch routine. Too much sand and grit on the Mats from people's shoes. I might not even go to the gym tomorrow. There didn't seem to be too many kids in Child Care today, so maybe I'll let my son sleep in tomorrow and I'll get some work done. Because I really need to get my act together, and look for a paying job. Besides, tomorrow is $5 Tuesday and I'll probably take him to see something silly, like Central Intelligence with Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart.


Monday Workout
(6.54 miles total cardio; 19,784 lbs moved; actual workout time 1:45:52 )

Cross Trainer

Steady State

Calorie :   141 CAL
Distance: 3.94 mile
Speed :    7.86 mph
Lap/Rep :  --
Duration : 00:30:05

Hammer Grip Pull Up

227.73

Set 1 : 112x31

Wide Hand Pushup

100

Set 1 : 100 Lap/Rep

Crunches

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 2 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 3 : 50 Lap/Rep

Bird Dog Plank

Set 1 : 00:00:30
Set 2 : 00:00:30
Set 3 : 00:00:30
Set 4 : 00:00:30

Smith Machine Incline Bench Press

112

Set 1 : 30x15
Set 2 : 50x15
Set 3 : 70x15
Set 4 : 80x12
Set 5 : 50x26

Smith Machine Stiff Legged Deadlift

168

Set 1 : 30x15
Set 2 : 80x12
Set 3 : 100x12
Set 4 : 120x12
Set 5 : 130x8
Set 6 : 110x12

Dumbbell Lateral Raise

28

Set 1 : 20x12
Set 2 : 20x12
Set 3 : 20x12 SuperSet with

Dumbbell Reverse Flyes

33.33

Set 1 : 20x20
Set 2 : 20x20
Set 3 : 20x20

Seated Flat Bench Leg Pull In

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep

Elliptical Training

Prgm#2

Calorie :   296 CAL
Distance: 2.6 mile
Duration : 00:30:00

Hammer Grip Pull Up

227.73

Set 1 : 112x31

A Solution, of Sorts

The same tech who arrived for the Wednesday afternoon appointment and swapped out our DVR, returned Thursday morning to run a new line from the outside box to the modem. The modem works fine so he didn't swap that out. Everything works fine except the DVR doesn't get an internet signal, which was baffling because the WiFi, phone and basic internet functions all worked. Eventually, we determined by a process of elimination, that two Ethernet wires that connected to ports in the wall and seemingly led to nowhere in particular (except maybe other rooms in the house) was causing feedback interference that was degrading the signal needed by the TV, DVR, and set-top box to transmit basic television programming. Oh jeeze! That feedback seems to have also fomented deterioration of our DVR, which is, as the tech and I both agreed, just plain weird. Especially since those wires have been connected to the "system" forever. But now everything works. For now.

Summer break started Friday and my husband got home late Thursday night. So I sleep in, and then go to the gym. I get on an unfamiliar cross-trainer. It's stiffer than I like, and for most people this means just a slightly harder workout. For me, it means my right foot goes numb quicker, and eventually I feel the tingling in my left foot as well. I hate having numb toes but once I get off the cross-trainer, normal sensation is restored. Yaaay! Still, it beats having shin splints which is what happens when I've tried running, jogging, trotting. That and horribly sore painful knees. It's only gotten worse over the years. But you're nuts if you think I'd ever consider joint replacement surgeries.

The gym is crowded even though it's past mid-morning. The first set of pull ups always feel difficult, and makes me question my abilities. Got to shut that voice up! I knock out a 100 push ups, sets of crunches and planks, glancing over at the Smith to see if I can grab it before someone else gets to it. Because all the small benches are in use, I start with Smith SLDLs. By 120 lbs I'm kind of tired, but I toss on a 5 lb plate on each side of the bar. I know I'm not getting a full 12 reps. I'm worried my form will break down and I'll hurt my back so I only get to 8. It's enough. As I'm changing the plates, a chubby Latina asks me if I'm using the station, and I'm annoyed although she's perfectly pleasant. Maybe because I usually don't ask if something's in use. I just do something else until I see that a station is free. But most people have time constraints.

Finally the DB area is free and I snag a small bench to drag back to the Smith. I must be getting old because I'd rather do 12 reps at 120 lbs followed by 25 reps at 90 lbs, than muscle through 130 lbs for 6-8 reps. (I calculate this weight assuming that the bar is a mere 30 lbs because the Smith bar is counterbalanced. It's certainly not 45 lbs.) Perhaps I just don't see the benefit, and I'm too leery of shoulder injuries. A bad shoulder would sideline me from Kickboxing and all sorts of other lifting.

I toss a coin in my head between doing Smith Split Squats or DB laterals superset with Reverse Flyes. Ultimately, I'd rather do shoulders and I'm happy that the DB area is totally vacant. As I work through my sets, the area starts to accumulate people and I hate crowds. Especially when everyone's flailing DBs about. A big Viking blonde grabs 3 different sets of DBs to use for her arm and shoulder routine. She puts a lot of energy into it, and I'm glad when she properly returns the 5, 10 and 15 lb DBs to the rack. Then she's at the cable station doing lateral raises. I've never seen her before. It'll be exciting to see if she sticks to it and progresses.

I don't want to do 6 supersets, but I do anyway. Want has nothing to do with my workout. It's a matter of whether I can. And whether I have time. Today I have the luxury of not having to meet the school bus. The heavier DBs make my forearms ache a bit. I feel a brief sharp prick and hope that's not something serious, like a tendon. No, it's too much on the surface, not deep in the tissue. Whew!

I do another set of pull ups just to see if I can since my forearms are really tired. 26 reps is good. I know I can do another set after the elliptical because my arms will be recovered by then. As much as I want to do Intervals, I choose program #3 instead, because the backward pedaling helps me keep sciatica at bay. A few quick stretches at the Cage and another set of pull ups. Yes! I like to think that I inspire others to do unconventional workouts. That assisted pull up machine is worthless for people hoping to achieve the strength to do just one pull up. I'm glad I don't work at a gym: it'd be hard for me to keep silent and sell the programs and products.

I don't rest too much between sets because I don't want to lose momentum, or cool down. But I feel as if I've been at the gym an inordinately long time because people come and go. Because they have other things to do. I have other things to do as well. Like buy groceries. My fridge is unusually bare this week because waiting for the repair tech and my son having 3 school half-days has meant not having time to shop properly. When I get home, I find my son and husband both glued to their laptops, barely looking up as I lug my gym gear and groceries inside. Hhhmmm... good thing I bought fried chicken at the supermarket so we can all have a quick and easy late lunch.

Friday Workout
(6.17 miles total cardio; 25,246 lbs moved; actual workout time 1:53; session length 2:29)

Cross Trainer

Steady State

Calorie :   144 CAL
Distance: 3.62 mile
Speed :    7.24 mph
Lap/Rep :  --
Duration : 00:30:03

Hammer Grip Pull Up

209.07

Set 1 : 112x26

Seated Flat Bench Leg Pull In

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep

Wide Hand Pushup

100

Set 1 : 100 Lap/Rep

Crunches

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 2 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 3 : 50 Lap/Rep

Bird Dog Plank

Set 1 : 00:00:30
Set 2 : 00:00:30
Set 3 : 00:00:30
Set 4 : 00:00:30

Smith Machine Stiff Legged Deadlift

168

Set 1 : 30x15
Set 2 : 80x12
Set 3 : 100x12
Set 4 : 120x12
Set 5 : 130x8

Smith Machine Bench Press

168

Set 1 : 30x15
Set 2 : 80x15
Set 3 : 100x12
Set 4 : 120x12
Set 5 : 90x25

Dumbbell Lateral Raise

35

Set 1 : 20x12
Set 2 : 20x12
Set 3 : 20x12
Set 4 : 25x12
Set 5 : 25x12
Set 6 : 25x12 SuperSet with

Dumbbell Reverse Flyes

41.67

Set 1 : 20x20
Set 2 : 20x20
Set 3 : 20x20
Set 4 : 25x20
Set 5 : 25x20
Set 6 : 25x20

Hammer Grip Pull Up

209.07

Set 1 : 112x26

Elliptical Training

Prgm#3

Calorie :   288 CAL
Distance: 2.55 mile
Duration : 00:30:05

Hammer Grip Pull Up

227.73

Set 1 : 112x31

Cleavage Pains

The last time I got sunburned, it was because I forgot about the little hollow between the collarbones. This time I forgot about cleavage. Primarily because it's never really been a concern of mine, being a certified member of the IBTC. But I wore a sun dress made of swim suit material on Sunday, Father's Day, when the family went out to Six Flags New England amusement park, courtesy of our friends who purchased a season pass. With that pass comes the ability to bring guests for free!

I always apply sunscreen to my face. And I know I sprayed the clear UV 50 stuff all over my husband and son. And even had them spray my back and neck. But I'd totally forgotten about the little area between the breasts because they're not normally exposed. Ah, summer... I've been applying a sunburn remedy called Blue Ice which contains aloe and a minute amount of lidocaine. Because this is rather unpleasant!

Yesterday was the Summer Solstice, and my son's school's annual Stepping Up Day celebration at Kiwi Country Day Camp. So I was out in the sun for most of the late afternoon, but I'd thought enough to wear jeans and a button down camp shirt. It was also the last full day of school for the year. Which means that today, tomorrow and Thursday are all abbreviated school days. Tomorrow is also my son's actual "graduation" from grade school. I think he'd be crushed if I wasn't there, so I'll be there. And then I'll probably take him home. I'm not really sure why he has school on Thursday because what are they going to do for 2.5 hours? Meanwhile, he still has swim class and kung fu this week as well.

I skipped the gym yesterday because FIOS said they were sending a repair tech to the house between 11 and 2 pm. By 1:30 I knew that wasn't happening. And I wasted a perfectly good opportunity to get to the gym. Today the tech came at 4:30 and made everything worse. We had been able to live-stream TV, but our Guide had disappeared and the DVR couldn't connect to the Internet so programming was out. Then he swapped out our DVR for a new one, eliminating access to our old shows. The new box wouldn't connect to the Internet either. So now, absolutely No Live Streaming. Then he ran a new wire to the outside box. Nada. Then he left because he doesn't work late shift. And a new tech is suppose to come tomorrow at 2 pm. Yeah, right. My husband wants to go back to Comcast. I hate Comcast. But without any access to programming, it's hard to justify having FIOS for just phone, Internet and WiFi. Heck, I'm missing Penny Dreadful and Game of Thrones tonight!

Since I only had a bit over an hour to workout, shower and change, I decide that cardio was the most important thing I needed to do. Coming to the gym only 3-4 days a week and eating crap on weekends (because there is no such thing as "real food" when you eat out a lot) is making me fat. I'm aghast to see the scale pop up to 112.6 lbs today. OMG!

I do my cross-trainer and elliptical routines, knock out a bunch of push ups because I'm not benching, and struggle through the pull ups. I only do two sets instead of three when my left forearm starts to bother me. Maybe I should add those RG BB Curls back into my routine when I have time? I buy two tickets to Finding Dory before I get home, and I get home just in time to toss my dirty gym stuff in the laundry and run down the road to meet the school bus. My son flops on the sofa and asks how much time we have before the movie while I'm making scrambled eggs and toast for lunch. I have Ezekiel bread, my son eats a bagel.

Finding Dory was excellent, and I laughed out loud throughout the movie. The short flick Piper that plays before the main event is absolutely funny and sweet, with amazing feather and sand rendering. I'd watch both of these flicks again.



Tuesday Workout
(6.55 miles total cardio)

Cross Trainer

Steady State

Calorie :   141 CAL
Distance: 3.97 mile
Speed :    7.92 mph
Duration : 00:30:05

Hammer Grip Pull Up

209.07

Set 1 : 112x26

Wide Hand Pushup

100

Set 1 : 100 Lap/Rep

Crunches

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 2 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 3 : 50 Lap/Rep

Bird Dog Plank

Set 1 : 00:00:30
Set 2 : 00:00:30
Set 3 : 00:00:30
Set 4 : 00:00:30

Wide Hand Pushup

100

Set 1 : 100 Lap/Rep

Hammer Grip Pull Up

209.07

Set 1 : 112x26

Elliptical Training

Prgm#1

Calorie :   292 CAL
Distance: 2.58 mile
Duration : 00:30:00

The Week's End

I'm surprised to see 80 visits to my blog post and can only surmise that it's due to the Organic Valley label. How disappointed those folks must be when they stumble across my blog and realize that there's only a link to the Organic Valley website, and a vague discussion about sugar alcohols. I don't like to mislead people.

Today I had thought to do a full body workout, incorporating Smith Benches and Smith SLDLs, but as always, I listen to my body for cues. And today my body said,"The lower back's a bit iffy." My hip isn't twinging anymore but my lower back occasionally gets stiff and troublesome. I figure as long as I get my hour of cardio in, I'm good. The push ups make my right hand tender. I need better gloves. Smith benching starts out tenuous, but gets better as I add plates. I probably could've done a set at 130 lbs but I'm not in the mood to nurse any injuries, and play in safe instead. I'll go for reps.

I like how I look when I do Smith Inclined Bench Presses: a full chest, V-shape torso and fairly distinct muscle groups. Sadly I can't take selfies when I'm benching: there's no place to position my phone! Oh well... I only do a few sets of DB Laterals superset with DB Reverse Inclined Flyes. I know I can do more, but I don't want to be here all day! Instead, I do a set of pull ups and then Intervals on the elliptical. I really enjoy pushing myself for the last intervals of the session, just to see if I can maintain over 200 SPM for over a minute. And I can. I'm drenched when I'm done, but it feels really good.

While I'm pedaling, I see a fat middle-age guy at the cable stations. He'd be less conspicuous if he weren't wearing a thick black hoody, emblazoned in front with thick white Celtic knots and gold sparkles. Seriously. I recognize him from seasons past when he was just a fat middle-age guy with a greying beard and thinning hair. I'm not sure what guys are thinking when they show up at the gym dressed like that to work out. The guys are the ones with the thick gold chains around their necks although I've seen quite a few women walking the treadmill with giant hoop earrings. Personally, I can't stand to have anything dangly on me when I'm working out. I don't even like it when my braided hair swings — it's distracting and annoying.

I want to lecture all the tall skinny girls who walk hunched over, ashamed of their height and their lanky limbs. Would it be forward of me to push my hand against their back to make them straighten up? Would I be overstepping if I showed them a profile photo of what they'll become if they continue this piss-poor posture? How can you breathe hunched over like that? Don't wish you were shorter! Be proud, and fierce! Confidence is the most alluring attractant, and anyone intimidated by it isn't worth talking to. I'm totally serious.

I do most of my Mat Stretch, but I'm changing the routine a bit because falling into a routine is bad. It means you don't really pay attention to how you're moving, and your body gets complacent. That only leads to either stagnation or injury. I have just enough time to shower, change and rush off to my son's school to check for permission slips. There's always a few parents who can't seem to follow basic directions, like fill out this permission slip. No, a generic note saying you give permission isn't good enough. Monday is our 5th grade Kiwi Night where kids can spend a few hours at Camp Kiwi, courtesy of our PTO. I'm the chair for this event. I can't wait until it's over. Seriously.

Tuesday is a school half day. I think I'll take my son to see Finding Dory at the local cinema, because Tuesday's is half price. Yaaay! I'm a sucker for a good kid's flick anyway.



Friday Workout
(6.64 miles total cardio; 18,744 lbs moved)

Elliptical Training

Warm Up

Calorie :   141 CAL
Distance: 4.01 mile
Speed :    8.01 mph
Duration : 00:30:03

Hammer Grip Pull Up

209.07

Set 1 : 112x26

Seated Flat Bench Leg Pull In

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep

Wide Hand Pushup

100

Set 1 : 100 Lap/Rep

Crunches

50

Set 1 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 2 : 50 Lap/Rep
Set 3 : 50 Lap/Rep

Bird Dog Plank

Set 1 : 00:00:30
Set 2 : 00:00:30
Set 3 : 00:00:30
Set 4 : 00:00:30

Smith Machine Bench Press

168

Set 1 : 30x25
Set 2 : 80x15
Set 3 : 100x12
Set 4 : 120x12
Set 5 : 90x25

Smith Machine Incline Bench Press

112

Set 1 : 30x20
Set 2 : 50x15
Set 3 : 70x15
Set 4 : 80x12

Dumbbell Lateral Raise

35

Set 1 : 20x12
Set 2 : 20x12
Set 3 : 20x12
Set 4 : 25x12 SuperSet with

Dumbbell Reverse Flyes

41.67

Set 1 : 20x20
Set 2 : 20x20
Set 3 : 20x20
Set 4 : 25x20

Hammer Grip Pull Up

209.07

Set 1 : 112x26

Elliptical Training

Intervals

Calorie :   301 CAL
Distance: 2.63 mile
Duration : 00:30:00