Inspired to DeHoard

I've spent a few days each week sifting through and discarding old books, clothes and other items. This past weekend, I started sorting through my dresser, closet and plastic storage boxes. I try on a lot of buried clothes and make two important decisions: a lot of my old clothes still fit even though I'm 10 lbs heavier; and there are clothes I bought at my lightest that I will never fit back into unless I get sick because dropping 15 lbs is too exhausting and strenuous. 

I just can't exercise that much or eat that little anymore. And when I let go of those pants and dresses, I felt as if I had let go of a whole different person. It's letting go of a different part of my life and coming to terms with me here and now. I'd still like to lose the 5 lbs I've put on since the "pandemic" began, but it's not making me crazy. 

I find really old gym clothes, including a pair of buttery soft pants that I have a vague recollection of setting aside because they kept sliding off after a while. Because I'd dropped 20 lbs after joining the local gym. But these pants are still super soft and they still fit. Today I find out whether the extra pounds I'm carrying around my belly and hips will keep these pants up. I rediscover old tank tops in very good condition, some of which I toss into the donate pile (along with enough other clothes to fill 5 kitchen trash bags). Other items, like running shorts and leggings are clothes I've never felt comfortable in and I'm happy to discard them. They're all clean and ready for someone else to utilize.

It's been raining all weekend, but this morning it's really pouring. Even the dogs don't argue with me about leaving the park after 20 minutes. When there's high humidity, my head gets foggy and I have trouble thinking clearly: brain fog! Luckily, cardio on the elliptical clears my head and I feel normal again. My outfit is all old clothes I've rediscovered in buried piles: a gray hoodie when Land's End made them with proportionate sleeves, those silky soft exercise pants that might or might not stay up, an ultramarine Old Navy tank made from that most perfect of materials that is cooling yet not clingy, LE gray seamless toe socks and the oldest pair of NB sneakers I own. 

Being fatter helps keep my pants up although I find myself adjusting them every now and then. But they don't actually run the risk of falling off. I have a pile of pants that need to be hemmed, and that includes fleece pajama pants with a brittle elastic waist. If I'm replacing the band in those, I could consider adding a band to these exercise pants. I just haven't figured out how to measure how much elastic length I need to buy and how thick a band. I guess having bigger hips and belly isn't all bad although I find it makes me very self-conscious. Which is silly because I see V in the locker room and she's obviously wearing a very tight waist-shaper under her exercise clothes, and it doesn't bother her at all. My parents are long dead and I'm still super self-conscious of my body and my clothes. 

I get a set of pull-ups done (which feels good) then off to do core in the Aerobics Room. Planks are good for the first 60 and a lot more difficult for the next 30 second. Push-ups and air squats are fine. Wall squats start off okay but by 60 seconds all I can do is breathe really hard and tell myself just 20 more seconds, just 15 more seconds, just 10 more... I'm ambivalent about doing another set of pull-ups so I decide to do 10 minutes on the stair machine. 

There's no school today because it's Yom Kippur (Jewish Day of Atonement) but I'm sure the downpour has kept a lot of kids home. There's no one on either stair machine and that makes me happy. The machine paces erratic, either at 52 or 57 steps per minute. My old sneakers aren't giving my left foot the support it needs and that foot, the good foot, starts to ache a bit. I guess I'll only do this machine when I'm wearing the newer sneakers. If I make it to the gym tomorrow, I might do another push-up challenge...

25 Sept 2023 11:09-12:46
Pouring Rain Means Brain Fog Monday (& will my old butter-soft pants stay up?)

Precor elliptical #1
Program 1
Time: 30 + 5 (5570)
Distance: 2.83
Cal: 313
Avg Hr: 142, 188-90

HGPU 17

20 Hip Bridges
Crunches 60
Piriformis/Hip/Pencil Stretch
60 Dead Bugs
20 Hip Bridges
Elbow Plank 90s
Quick Child’s Pose
Cat stretch 12
Fire Hydrants 30 x 2
Child’s Pose / Cobra Pose
Bird Dog Planks 60s x 2
Push-Ups 25
Air Squats 25
Upper body stretch
Eye yoga
Wall Squats 90s

StepMill (L)
Manual 10 min
Speed 6 (52-57)
Steps 528
Floors 33
Cal 77
Hr 133