Sometimes Doing Nothing is Doing Something

A dear friend sent me a
gym possum shirt!

I didn't go to the gym on Friday although I had planned for another round of mindless treadmill trudging, followed by a trip to the chiropractor. (I did grit my teeth and take the dogs to the park for a few hours because I can bear driving for 4 minutes with my left leg levitating under the dashboard while I steer.) 

But no way was I driving 15 minutes in traffic to the gym. I was in too much pain and instead spent a few hours on the phone, first with my primary doc's office: she was on holiday so I had to wait for the nurse practitioner to call me back with a "televisit" which was in reality, just a phone consultation (because their "televisit" software wasn't working), but at least she could make referrals and write prescriptions (she recommended 20 mg of prednisone for 5 days to reduce muscular swelling even though I have glaucoma because it's only 5 days and besides, I've been sleeping/passing out laying on my face for the past 3 weeks so what's 5 days). 

Then I called the orthopedic specialist to try to get an appointment because they have an MRI and could potentially shorten the 8-week period my health insurance company wants before authorizing such a test. I got an automated system that told me to leave my info and to not call more than once. I suppose that happens a lot to people who are in pain and want to know they at least have an appointment. Then I gingerly slid into my car and drove to the chiropractor. Where nothing made anything feel better and some of the pressure points were so tender I half giggled in order not to scream. 

I've adapted a new posture in my living room because kneeling facing the back of my sofa isn't all that comfortable and is only good for reading magazines by the light of the big window. Now I kneel on a 24" square of foam mat used to cushion gyms and playrooms next to the big flat ottoman and lean across that. My head can be upright and my feet have stopped hurting from constantly standing. I can also balance an ice pack on my glute easier in that position as well.

And why am I in so much pain? Not because I felt better and decided to clip the forest of 6-ft tall sailor's tobacco. Nope--learned my lesson about doing gardening work (too much hip hinge). It's because I bought a TENS device and decided to see if it would make me feel better. There are a lot of settings so I read through the instruction booklet and selected what appeared to be appropriate for sciatica. Admittedly, I'm not really comfortable doing this by myself but when I took the device to my chiropractor, he wasn't much help either. The pads were sticky and the electric sensation felt okay. I was cautious and only set the timer for 10 minutes for a medium/light setting. My back and hips felt okay afterward for 10 minutes. And only 10 minutes. Then everything went to hell and I was in almost as much agony as the very first day nearly 3 weeks ago. Nearly. Nothing was quite as bad as the first day. Humans have quite the capacity for pain, and on a scale from 1-10, I'd say the first day was a bell-ringing 15. I think when it goes to 20 you actually pass out...

Still, I've wondered when I can resume some of my old routine. Online searches suggest that hanging is good for the lower back as it will decompress the spine, but doing an actual pull-up will cause the core to tighten and I'm really tired of quads and hammies feeling super-contracted, and on the verge of spasms. I'm short so finding a low bar to hang from where my feet will still touch the ground is virtually impossible.

A Quora forum devoted to sciatica contain some helpful suggestions but of course the post I remember is from a woman who was on gabapentin (which made her sleepy and woozy) and finally tramadol just for one night before her wedding. Tramadol is a muscle-relaxant and what she really needed was for the muscles to stop contracting so hard they had locked up. Then she was cured. And I think to myself, Damn it! I've got gabapentin and tramadol in the cabinet just for the dog so he's calm enough for a blood draw. He's slightly more than half my weight and his dose is twice as much and it's done nothing for him. But of course, he's a 2 1/2 year old pup and I'm a middle-aged woman. I'm well aware that veterinary meds are not at all safe for humans.

Maybe it's the prednisone or the fact that I've literally done nothing all weekend except drive the dogs to the park, walk around picking up poop, or stood around watching them romp and scuffle with each other and their canine pals, but my whole left side actually feels better. Not great. But better. And I don't want to jinx it. So I'm just going to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes and see my chiropractor. And maybe I'll be doing this for the next few weeks. Because this type of pain is encompassing and debilitating, and if I can avoid future bouts by doing differently but still doing, then I'm all for it.