Toxic Beauty

I'm tired, as usual, but make my way to the gym, following a small Ford Focus that only seems to have two speeds: fast and brake. I've only heard of drivers (other people's parents) who learned to maneuver their vehicles by either stomping on the accelerator or the brake, but never developed the nuance of taking your foot off the gas and allowing the car to coast. I expect the driver to be someone elderly, but instead, I see a middle-aged woman who really should know better.

I won't do HIIT cardio two days in a row so I pick a program in the elliptical Performance menu. It gives me lots of hills and valleys over 30 minutes, alternating between 7.5 minutes forward and 7.5 minutes backward pedaling. I find backward pedaling activates the hamstrings better than forward. Again, the pulse monitor amuses me by dropping from 179 to 119 in a few seconds. The lowest my pulse ever gets to is 97, although it also careens over 200, which is probably a bad thing.

Today's my day to skip hammer grip pull-ups but I still do a Cage Stretch, push-ups and crunches. I skip most of the planks except for the knee-to-same-side-elbow, which in 60 seconds, I manage to increase the reps by almost a third. There's no one at the Smith although the bar has a pair of 10 lb plates on it. Because people have been walking away without reracking their weights, I don't look too hard before stripping the bar and dropping it to the floor. If you're going to walk away from the station, don't expect it to be yours when/if you come back. I see WannaBeTrainer with a pair of 15s in her hand eyeing the Smith. I don't know if she's the one, but she's not getting this back.

Normally I don't think badly of people, or anything at all actually, but a locker room friend told me that this woman had been harassing her to use WannaBe as a personal trainer. Now, my friend is a large woman but she puts in a lot of effort. WannaBe is a skinny young blonde who seems to be eyeing a lot of people in a weird predatory way. She's also a relatively new member, but she's not chatty friendly the way Hollywood is, or even how B is. B will talk to anyone, especially guys. And I'm known as "the girl who doesn't talk to anyone." Seriously. Someone told me that. People who know me know that I have a sort of "gym tunnel vision." If I have earbuds in and I'm working out, I don't see or hear anyone because I'm so focused on my workout. And if I see them, they might not actually register as someone I know and should acknowledge. Sorry!

As I'm doing Smith RDLs, I'm amused to see WannaBe perform DB laterals in the middle of the gym with her 15s. I'd stand closer to the mirror, but that's me. She's got toned skinny arms and a flirty walk, but I don't see anyone wanting to chat her up. Big Tank is doing one-arm lateral raises with a solid 20 lb barbell while hanging off the BB rack. I've seen the monstrously big (not necessarily fit, but ridiculously tall and wide) WWF Fanboy doing lateral raises with a 40 lb solid barbell. I know barbells provide more of a balance challenge than using a dumbbell. Still, it's kind of cool to see people doing it.

There are other regulars including PO Goatee, M, Skinny J, WeightBelt Gal, Magenta Ponytail, Ruffles, and CF Guy. WannaBe has moved on to the T-bar Row so I decide to do Smith RG BB Rows again. It's been a while, and these feel pretty good to my lats and back.

I know my arms are too tired, but I attempt to get a few sets of Close Grip Lat Pulldowns anyway. I'm discovering that my gym shoes are affecting this exercise in an unexpected way. I don't like to wear my softer Rykas when I need stability for the RDLs. The Rykas are great for HIIT cardio though. The stiffer, more supportive Saucony shoes are okay for general cardio, but not my first choice. These shoes also seem to catch the bottom of the pulldown station weirdly and I don't feel as securely anchored when wearing them to do Lat Pulldowns. Weird, right?

I manage to get 5 clean reps before having to ramp up to get two or three more. That's why my notation is written 5+3. Those last 3 aren't clean reps, but I did manage to pull the bar down, just not to my chest. I move on to RG BB Curls, and as promised, I added 5 lbs to the barbell. I find one magnetic disc on the BB rack and the other one stuck to the cable station. When I'm done, I bring them both back to the front desk. Adding 5 lbs isn't noticeably harder, although I'm not going to lie and say that this was easy. There was definitely some grimacing.

I walked by a newbie who was cautiously using an unloaded EZ-Curl bar (15 lbs) to do skull crushers. He's a decent sized fellow, and I resisted the impulse to show him how to do Rip Skulls because his dad (or whoever he's with) is looking on from the preacher curl station. Why would you just do skull crushers when Rip Skulls are so much more effective for size and strength unless you were unaware of their existence? Weightbelt Gal is doing tricep kickbacks with a 10 lb DB. I'd also like to tell her those are worthless, but I keep my mouth shut. No one likes a "budinski."

Ruffles is chatting animatedly with CF Guy in the Stretch area. I put down my two mats and ignore them. The only reason people speak that loudly is because they're flirting with exuberant nervous energy. Another budding gym romance? Perhaps... In the locker room, a woman is busy blow-drying her hair. I hate the noise. Although dryers have gotten quieter since the 70s, they're still anywhere from 50-70 decibels, which is enough to damage your hearing. I don't use a blow dryer. The heat alone would cause my skin to shrivel up and flake off. Also, I'd like to maintain my hearing without needing aids, no matter what AARP tries to sell me. (And no, I haven't joined them yet either.)

Her hair is still damp but she sprays an awful smelling product into it several times. Even after she's gone, the mist persists and both I and a trainer simultaneously gag and cough. My eyes actually tear up from the spray which reeks of alcohol. The ingredients to most hairsprays include (but aren't limited to): polyvinylpyrrolidone (PVP), vegetable gums, alcohol, propylene glycol, isobutane, propane, and fragrance. I suppose this isn't as awful as smoking a butt before coming in to work out? Except that so many women douse themselves with a bevy of chemicals, both in the shower and afterward as they dress and style their hair.

Lately, manufacturers have been desperately pushing body wash by offering coupons for their many flavors and varieties. It's not like there's a shortage of soap, but body wash is more profitable. It's just not necessary. It also contains as many chemicals as shampoo, if not more. There is endless chatter in the locker room about hair coloring products, nail gels, and fashionable workout attire. I just keep my mouth shut. Yep, I'm the girl who doesn't talk to anyone. Probably because I wouldn't have anything nice to say.

There's another storm warning in the forecast for Wednesday night into Thursday morning. Apparently, we've gone through the alphabet and are back at E again as Winter Storm Evan makes its approach. Whoa. The northeast is only supposed to get a few inches of the white stuff. Right now we're dealing with high winds, but the sun is shining in the bitter cold. Dropping to 15F tonight. Brrrrr...

Frigid Tuesday Pull

30 min elliptical + 5 cd
Program 2
Calories 319
Miles 2.87
HR 160-205 (97, 119)

Push Ups 50
Crunches 30/30
Bicycles 50
Knee to Elbow Plank 60s (55)

Smith RDLs
Bar (30) x 15
80 x 12
100 x 12
120 x 12, 12, 12

Smith RG BB Row
80lbs x 25 reps x 3 sets

Lat Pull Downs
85lbs x 12
100 x 10
115 x 5+3, 5+3, 4+2

RG BB Curls
35lbs x 25, 25, 25

Mat Stretch