Kicking the Feedback Addiction

I'm not sure if spaceyness counts as an allergic reaction to pollen since I'm not taking antihistamines, and flowers are abloom! Dramatically so! Vertigo still lurks inside my middle ear but so far it hasn't really impeded my ability to drive, exercise, shop, clean, cook or type. I feel lucky! Lucky that in spite of a high sodium weekend beginning with sushi of assorted rolls (dragon, crazy dragon, volcano) and ending with vindaloo lamb, mango shrimp and assorted curries, my fingers weren't swollen when I awoke this morning. I took my husband and son to Jaipore for Father's Day dinner and then my husband took us to Johnny Gelato for dessert.

My butt was stiff and sore, but that's the new normal for me. I dread Mondays at the gym because I know how badly I tend to fare with cardio after two days of complete anaerobic inactivity. Hill #5 kicked my butt and I missed my quota by a skosh. Oh well... tomorrow's another chance to make it up. The Smith Machine welcomes me and I'm extremely cognizant of my body placement on the bench today. All my lifts, while never easy, feel strong. Completing my final drop set of 25 reps makes me really happy although you'd never know it from the non-expression on my face.

Today's 1st Push Day of the Week
35 min cardio hill #5 = 3.99 miles Bleah!
Smith Bench Press: 15 reps bar / 12 @ 95 lbs / 10 @ 115 / 8 @ 135 / 3 x 6 @ 155 / 12 @ 135 / 25 @ 115 lbs Yay!
Cage Stretch & Kicks
Bent Over (Chest in Lap) Rear DB Flyes: 6 x 15 @ 25 lbs
Standing Lateral DB Raises: 3 x 15 @ 20 lbs
Standing Lateral DB Raises SuperSet with One-Arm Tricep Extensions: 3 x 15 @ 20 lbs
Ab Crunch Station: 100
Flat Bench Twisting Sit Ups: 100
Tricep Press Downs: 3 x 12 @ 50 lbs
Ab Crunch Station (again): 100
Mat Stretch: the gym has rearranged the mats once again and I move about every few stretches in order to take advantage of open spots as they occur. My splits are stiff and uneven today but I expect that on Mondays. 

Mo waves at me while I'm doing sit ups. I see her at the Mats but she gets up before I'm done. When I'm finally done, I see her at the far end of the DB area along with R and Ranger Rick and a few others. It's too crowded for me and I duck out to the locker room without greeting anyone. I have to pee, my head feels disconnected and I'm ravenously hungry.

The scale reads a whopping 113.0 lbs which, even for a Monday, is a lot. That high sodium weekend is certainly wreaking havoc on my self-esteem. I find myself constantly checking my email to see if anyone's posted comments on the two other weight-lifting sites I've joined. Nothing. I feel deflated and disappointed, then wonder about it. Is this akin to constantly surfing social media sites?

It's a feedback addiction that's almost as insidious as Pavlov's dog treats. Perhaps because there's no feedback when I work out, except for what I perceive about my own efforts, opportunity arises for the (reward) mesolimbic system of the brain to seek recognition no matter how indirect. The sites were exciting when I first joined but I'm quickly growing weary of them, finding it necessary to up the ante in terms of postings or photos to achieve the same thrill response. In spite of my ability to utilize long, boring exercise routines, I don't have the same patience with social media sites. Oh well... it may be time to kick that puppy to the ground (figuratively, of course).