Doesn't Feel Festive

Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice, but the forecast is for torrential rain, wind and lots of traffic. It doesn't feel like Christmas is just a few days away. I wake up depressed. It's a hard feeling to shake, but I hope time whacking the machine will alleviate this. I should stop reading the news. That would help. The amount of online and snail mail appeals for funds, with the requisite horror stories of environmental disasters, animal extinctions and canine cruelty make me want to curl up in my bed and not emerge until spring. Talking heads all say the economy is booming and unemployment is low. That's just the figure for people applying for benefits. It's not really how many people are jobless. How can the economy be booming when holiday stalwarts like ToysRUs, Sears and Kmart have shuttered their doors. GM is laying off thousands. Nope, everything is fine. It doesn't feel fine.

I read a few more chapters of Basket Case last night. One thing I can really relate to is the protagonist's obsession with how old people are when they die. Of course, that he's been relegated to the newspaper obituary column by the new owner of the paper makes this a salient character quirk. I often wonder how many years I have left, even though I tell myself that I'm going to live well into my 90s. The fact that neither of my parents lived longer than their parents worries me. I see trends where perhaps none exist, where children inherit diseases and disabilities that occur earlier and with greater ferocity in each generation.

I go to the gym to whack the machine and relieve this foul mood. It's freezing and again, I don't take off my warm up hoodie until I'm standing in front of the Nexersys. I can't put on all my hand protection until I strip off the hoodie because I'll never fit my fists through the sleeves. I see a few regulars scattered throughout the gym.

People are so oblivious it makes me crazy. While I'm whacking away, three middle-age women get off the treadmills on the cardio platform and stand behind me, gabbing. I can hear them through my earbuds. If I step back, I might actually elbow one of them. Part of me wants to pause the machine and yell "Ladies, what the fuck?! Back off!" and part of me can't be bothered, figuring if they get whacked accidentally, it's their own damn fault.

I start to warm up half way through the Beginner rounds, but I don't actually perspire until the Intermediate level. My lungs burn through a few rounds, but not every round. The pacing is inconsistent, as are the strike sensors. I blank the screen 3 times, but only get a Hitting Too Hard warning once, and I don't even know what strike it was for. I miss a few blows because I can't see the strike call-out due to the glare. The machine also doesn't know what day it is and consistently shows the wrong date. Ugh.

Although I'm thoroughly drenched by the time I've finished 7 rounds of both Beginner and Intermediate, I don't feel too bad. As in, I feel as if I could probably do something else. But how I feel, and whether I could actually do something else would actually have to be tested. I don't want to spend the time to find out since I've been here too long as it is. Tomorrow is another Cardio Plus Day... sigh.

On the radio, I hear another song that makes me smile and want to sing along. I've never heard of the band before, but I like the tune: Lovelytheband's Broken:



Winter Solstice Eve Thursday

10 min elliptical
Calories 87
Miles 0.79
HR 141-176 (83)

T, Y & I Raises
5lbs x 15 x 2

Mid Band Pulls 15
High Band Pulls 15

Nexersys FM
Beginner 7r
Intermediate 7r Yaaay!

Stretch