Adages

There is an adage that states the obvious, "If it hurts don't do it." Then again, there's that infamous musclehead credo, No Pain No Gain. And there are lots of times that both are appropriate, and some times it's hard to discern the difference, especially where injuries are concerned. For example, I felt good enough to use hedge clippers to clear a small forest of troublesome sailor's tobacco from my yard. 

It didn't hurt when I did it, just an annoying stretch of the lower extremeties when I had to reach further than my short limbs allow. Had there been any pain at all, I would've stopped immediately. That didn't happen until a good 12 hours later. And it was more than an annoying ache, it was pain and locked-up muscles that threatened never to unknot. 

I'm stubborn. I don't want to avoid all the discomforts of a physical life, even in ripe middle-age. I enjoy shoveling the snow from my property. Moving firewood doesn't faze me. But now, with accumulated injuries, I might have to think differently about what I do with a body that has broken parts. Ugh. 

At the gym, I'm exploring the treadmill programs since there is little else to do. Today: "rolling hills." Sounds pleasant enough, if not downright dull. What's annoying is having to hear the middle-aged man two treadmills down having a ridiculously loud conversation not with any body vaguely in his vicinity, but rather, with another fellow who is seated on an exercise bike a walk aisle away and behind. There's also decently loud ambient music and most of us can't turn our earbuds up loud enough to drown this ass hat out. 

I turn in his direction but he's not looking at me or else he'd see me gesture Shut the F up. Because he couldn't possibly hear anyone else over his own din. No wonder I started wearing a mask again out in the cardio area: too much hot air being expelled into circulation!

Afterward, I venture into the Aerobics Room and gingerly get down on a yoga mat for a few brief stretches and some light core movements. (I'm happy I can actually get down on the floor but a little worried about how I'm going to get back up.) I can handle planks and bird dogs. The Child's Pose is also recommended for lower back issues although contraindicated for glaucoma. Anything that puts your head below your heart is contraindicated for glaucoma, so that includes bending down to put your shoes and socks on. But now I see a wall variation that I might try once I convince myself to put my mat by the only solid wall in the room (because the other 3 are fully mirrored). 

Sitting cross-legged is difficult. I add a "pencil stretch" for spinal decompression since I'm not going to hang from the non-existent low bars. (It's basically laying flat on the mat, face up, feet together and legs straight, with arms pulled straight overhead parallel not perpendicular, as if reaching.) The side-to-side hip roll feels fine but the piriformis stretch makes me nervous. I skip anything that has me curling my core or raising my legs. Sorry Dead Bugs. And since I'm already pushing my IOPs by sleeping on my stomach, I also skip push-ups because those also increase pressure in my head.

The shower is welcome relief for my dry itchy skin but the drive home is still really painful. I have just enough time to collect the mail, drop my gym gear into the washer and then I'm off to the chiropractor. He's a nice enough fellow but I'm beginning to find him annoying in a passive/aggressive way that he's probably not totally aware of. Oh well...

30 Aug 2021
Sciatic Monday pre-Ida

True Alpine Treadmill
Program: Rolling Hills
Time: 30 min + 2 min cd @ 1 mph
Speed 2.5
Incline variable 0.0-1.5
Distance: 1.28
Cal: 97
HR 63, av 98 , high 115

  Skip Crunches 60
Piriformis/Hip/Pencil Stretch
  Skip 60 Dead Bugs
Elbow Plank 60s
  Skip Fire Hydrants 30 x 2
Bird Dogs 60s x 2
  Skip Push-Ups 25
  Skip Mat stretch w 3 Eye Yoga
  Skip Air Squats 25

Sometimes Doing Nothing is Doing Something

A dear friend sent me a
gym possum shirt!

I didn't go to the gym on Friday although I had planned for another round of mindless treadmill trudging, followed by a trip to the chiropractor. (I did grit my teeth and take the dogs to the park for a few hours because I can bear driving for 4 minutes with my left leg levitating under the dashboard while I steer.) 

But no way was I driving 15 minutes in traffic to the gym. I was in too much pain and instead spent a few hours on the phone, first with my primary doc's office: she was on holiday so I had to wait for the nurse practitioner to call me back with a "televisit" which was in reality, just a phone consultation (because their "televisit" software wasn't working), but at least she could make referrals and write prescriptions (she recommended 20 mg of prednisone for 5 days to reduce muscular swelling even though I have glaucoma because it's only 5 days and besides, I've been sleeping/passing out laying on my face for the past 3 weeks so what's 5 days). 

Then I called the orthopedic specialist to try to get an appointment because they have an MRI and could potentially shorten the 8-week period my health insurance company wants before authorizing such a test. I got an automated system that told me to leave my info and to not call more than once. I suppose that happens a lot to people who are in pain and want to know they at least have an appointment. Then I gingerly slid into my car and drove to the chiropractor. Where nothing made anything feel better and some of the pressure points were so tender I half giggled in order not to scream. 

I've adapted a new posture in my living room because kneeling facing the back of my sofa isn't all that comfortable and is only good for reading magazines by the light of the big window. Now I kneel on a 24" square of foam mat used to cushion gyms and playrooms next to the big flat ottoman and lean across that. My head can be upright and my feet have stopped hurting from constantly standing. I can also balance an ice pack on my glute easier in that position as well.

And why am I in so much pain? Not because I felt better and decided to clip the forest of 6-ft tall sailor's tobacco. Nope--learned my lesson about doing gardening work (too much hip hinge). It's because I bought a TENS device and decided to see if it would make me feel better. There are a lot of settings so I read through the instruction booklet and selected what appeared to be appropriate for sciatica. Admittedly, I'm not really comfortable doing this by myself but when I took the device to my chiropractor, he wasn't much help either. The pads were sticky and the electric sensation felt okay. I was cautious and only set the timer for 10 minutes for a medium/light setting. My back and hips felt okay afterward for 10 minutes. And only 10 minutes. Then everything went to hell and I was in almost as much agony as the very first day nearly 3 weeks ago. Nearly. Nothing was quite as bad as the first day. Humans have quite the capacity for pain, and on a scale from 1-10, I'd say the first day was a bell-ringing 15. I think when it goes to 20 you actually pass out...

Still, I've wondered when I can resume some of my old routine. Online searches suggest that hanging is good for the lower back as it will decompress the spine, but doing an actual pull-up will cause the core to tighten and I'm really tired of quads and hammies feeling super-contracted, and on the verge of spasms. I'm short so finding a low bar to hang from where my feet will still touch the ground is virtually impossible.

A Quora forum devoted to sciatica contain some helpful suggestions but of course the post I remember is from a woman who was on gabapentin (which made her sleepy and woozy) and finally tramadol just for one night before her wedding. Tramadol is a muscle-relaxant and what she really needed was for the muscles to stop contracting so hard they had locked up. Then she was cured. And I think to myself, Damn it! I've got gabapentin and tramadol in the cabinet just for the dog so he's calm enough for a blood draw. He's slightly more than half my weight and his dose is twice as much and it's done nothing for him. But of course, he's a 2 1/2 year old pup and I'm a middle-aged woman. I'm well aware that veterinary meds are not at all safe for humans.

Maybe it's the prednisone or the fact that I've literally done nothing all weekend except drive the dogs to the park, walk around picking up poop, or stood around watching them romp and scuffle with each other and their canine pals, but my whole left side actually feels better. Not great. But better. And I don't want to jinx it. So I'm just going to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes and see my chiropractor. And maybe I'll be doing this for the next few weeks. Because this type of pain is encompassing and debilitating, and if I can avoid future bouts by doing differently but still doing, then I'm all for it.

August is Hot

This is week 3 of my sciatic disability and I can finally say that I feel a tad better. Sitting in a car is still the most unpleasant activity, but I can tolerate sitting elsewhere for short periods. Standing and walking are still the best medicine besides taking ibuprofen (and gabapentin when I'm trying to sleep) and going for chiropractic adjustments. 

This morning I felt good enough to completely ignore the discomfort and manually clip all the 6-foot high spears of mugwort, aka sailor's tobacco or wild chrysanthemum that have grown into an impenetrable forest at the end of the driveway. The stems are too woody to weed wack without suffering from flying splinters and 84F is too hot to wear safety goggles. I'm already wearing boots, long pants sprayed with DEET, and a long sleeve hoodie impregnated with permethrin. My drenched clothes immediately go into the washing machine because nearly microscopic tick nymphs are abundant courtesy of all the white-tails that lurk at dusk.

Of course, my left glute is sore when I finish. I can still change my clothes and drive to the gym though, but I keep the treadmill walk short. I finally figure out how to set a timer for the manual setting but find the "cool down" two minutes very annoying as the speed and incline drop to a flat crawl. I'm not used to a cool down like that. 

I'd been toying with the idea of adding core exercises back once I can get up and down from the floor without grimacing, but I think that's going to wait for another week. I even think about doing a few pull-ups, but once again, the fact that my entire left leg from the glute to the toes is throbbing makes me think I'm jumping the gun. I can wait.

25 Aug 2021
Sciatic Blazing Wednesday

True Alpine Treadmill
Time: 20 min Custom + 2 min cool down
Speed 2.5
Incline 3.5
Distance: 0.86
Cal: 79
HR 77, av 101, high 127

Inching Toward Recovery

My chiropractor still wants an MRI and I can't blame him. I'd also like to see exactly what's causing me all this pain. No doubt an errant lumbar disc but exactly how it's affecting the sciatic nerve can make a difference in the treatment plan. No one likes to go in blind! Especially with sensitive things like nerves. 

More than the extreme discomfort in mundane activities (like driving, sitting for any reason, laying in bed to sleep) is the inability to satisfactorily void the bladder after laying face down for a few hours. It's the only reason I stumble out of bed before dawn, limping down the hall to the bathroom. If I'm up for any length of time, then nothing's a problem except getting in and out of cars, and sitting on hard locker room benches.

I'm back at the gym again just to trudge on the treadmill. It's literally better than nothing. And I get to step into a piping hot shower without too much guilt. I've increased the incline but not the speed so the mileage is the same as Friday: 1.24. My apparent heart rate however runs the gamut from 87 to 200. It's probably a cheap monitor because I think I'd know if my heart was beating 200 bpm. I'm not even sweating.

Hurricane Henri was a bust with a lot of rain and not much else. The brunt of the storm petered out over the sound before slamming into Rhode Island and missing the tip of Long Island. It's supposed to be nice tomorrow but 90F on Thursday. Next week will mark the advent of cooler temps. I'm not sure we're ready for Autumn so soon although I'd like to be able to travel to the Garlic Festival and the Sheep & Wool Festival, which are both long drives. I hope my sciatica is better by then...

23 Aug 2021
Sciatic Monday post Henri

True Alpine Treadmill
Time: 30 min
Speed 2.5
Incline 2.0, 2.5, 3.0
Distance: 1.24
Cal: 135
HR 87, av 95, high 200

Just For the Walk

Went to the gym just for the walk on the treadmill, and to shower. I'm still sleeping on my stomach over a pile of pillows, and waking up with a face so puffy my eyelids are swollen. It's not a pretty sight. Mornings are hell. I need to walk around for a good 15-20 minutes before I even attempt to use the bathroom. My leg hurts too much to sit. Walking is the only thing that makes it feel better. I'm still taking ibuprofen and gabapentin every 8 hours even thought I'm not certain it's making anything better.

I don't even come close to breaking a sweat on the treadmill. I'd try the elliptical or cross-trainer if I didn't think that'd actually aggravate my condition. And my condition is that my quad and hamstring are so inflamed that they verge on cramping or knotting. 

The chiropractor presses on the back of my thigh and it feels like someone running a butter knife along my femur, along the bone, because the muscles are in spasm and locked hard. It's the nerves firing errant messages into the surrounding tissue. I've read suggestions that a TENS machine could help with the pain. The chiropractor emails me the Amazon link to the one he thinks would work best. And if I buy it, I can bring it to his office and he'd show me how to use it.

Unfortunately, my primary care physician is only concerned if I exhibit muscle weakness. Apparently pain isn't enough. I'm not weak, just cranky. Chronic pain does that to a person. Even the massive insect bite on my neck that I got this morning at the Bark Park doesn't bother me. It just looks like a horrible tumor, but it doesn't itch. Because the body can't focus on more than one discomfort and all my focus is on the left sciatic nerve running from hip through the back of my knee down to my heel, which is throbbing.

20 Aug 2021
Sciatic Friday

True Alpine Treadmill
Time: 30 min
Speed 2.5
Incline 2.0,
Distance: 1.24
Cal: 128
HR 68, 83, av 92, high 130

Pain Will Stop You Every Time

Today is the first day back in the gym in a week and only to walk on the treadmill and take a shower. While I'm still sleeping on my face because side sleeping and on my back still isn't possible, I can tolerate sitting for brief periods, depending on what I'm sitting on. Car seats are absolutely the worst, most painful things I've ever experienced except for my first night in bed. Driving is hard but at least it's not my driving leg that's afflicted. 

Taking the Amtrak to Albany wasn't great but I was able to stand for a portion of the ride back because we'd secured the 4-seat space. Sitting at the amphitheater in upstate NY wasn't too bad since the seats were low and I had the aisle where I could stretch my leg out. Walking and standing are still okay. Tromping through the dog park is okay. Slowly, the inflammation is getting better. I'm not sure I'll be able to last 8 weeks sleeping on my face though. I need to call my health insurance company to see if I can't get an MRI before I do irreparable damage to my eyes. Today I saw a newspaper ad for a Sleep Chair and at first I laughed. But then, I wished that my issue could be solved with something as simple as a magical chair.

I haven't attempted any sciatica relief exercises yet as that requires I get down on the floor and the last time I tried, it nearly made me cry to get back up. I have another chiropractor appointment tomorrow, so we'll see how painful that is before I try things on my own... 

19 Aug 2021
Sciatic Thursday

True Alpine Treadmill
Time: 30 min
Speed 1.5, 2.0, 2.5
Incline 0, 2.0,
Distance: 1.14
Cal: 118
HR 149, 83, av 98, high 205
 

Time Off

Imagine a sledge hammer pounding at a long dull railroad spike aimed between your hip and femur (thigh) bone. Twist, bend, or otherwise put pressure on the joint and the pain sharpens exponentially, with echoing vibrations ending in a numb foot sole and tingling toes. It's impossible to sleep or sit through. But standing and walking don't elicit this sensation because being upright apparently relieves pressure on the sciatic nerve, the longest nerve in the human body. 

Sciatica normally results from inflammation: either muscles like the strap-like piriformis or a bulging lumbar disc, pressing on the nerve root emanating from the lower spine. NSAIDs such as aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen are the recommended meds, but honestly, they don't offer much relief for pain of this intensity. 

I've spent most of the week on my feet walking or standing because sitting or laying down has been too painful. Driving even short distances to the dog park is painful. The worst part is exiting the car. I'm glad I have a small SUV instead of a regular sedan that'd be lower to the ground! Today I went to the chiropractor for relief. He made some adjustments and I'll be back tomorrow. Then I went to the gym so I could shower. It's much easier to step into a shower than have to climb over a tub, and there's nothing like great water pressure to relieve stress. But driving is still painful.

I saw my internist on Wednesday for follow-up blood work to see if changing my dietary habits have helped the worrisome cholesterol levels I've started to develop. The good news is that my Total Cholesterol dropped 9 points (good but not great) and LDL-C down 13 points (awesome). So my cholesterol is still above desirable levels, but it's a lot better. If I want to get my levels lower, I should restrict red meat to once weekly, cull my use of butter (there's no better way to nuke green leafies than with a sprinkle of salt and a few pats of butter!), and cut back on adult beverages. 

I mentioned to my doc that pain from my sciatica feels worse than shingles. She gives me another prescription for gabapentin which worked well to help me sleep back then. They don't work nearly as well now. I've slept on my stomach for the past two days which is bad for my glaucoma. (Optimal sleep position is on your back with your head elevated.) Laying on my stomach is less painful than being on my back or side and I can sleep for a few hours before pain radiates out of my glute, waking me at 3:30 in the morning. From then until dawn, it's a painful wrestling match with my pillows to find a position that will allow me a few more hours of rest. But it's futile and I only snatch minutes here and there. I'm thinking of doubling my dose and taking a pill twice daily instead of once just before bed.

Sadly, the last time I had a major sciatic flare-up it occurred the day after I did Seated Cable Rows. Even though 85 lbs isn't heavy, perhaps for my 61-year old lower spine it's too much stress. I'm chagrined to admit that using lighter weights isn't enough. I don't want to go through this again so I'm not dropping the stack to 70 lbs just to have another painful bout like this. I'll just have to find something else...